Archive for October, 2016

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I am aware with the publication of this writing that I have forevermore thrown my hat in the ring of the Abortion Debate.  Not a thing to do lightly, to say the least, as I know the debate is heated on both sides.  However, I have come to challenge humanity to examine the truth that there is a third side that underlies these two camps – the side of truth.

And lest some may try to quickly pre-judge my ability to weigh in on this very serious subject, I take the difficult stand in stating that I know firsthand what I am talking about.  So let’s get that out of the way right at the beginning, with my admission that I speak from firsthand knowledge.

Before I get into my short personal testimony regarding what I came to realize was the most serious error of my life, I first of all want to present my case for this third side, in the attempt to get people to focus less on the debate and just examine the truth of the choice.

In essence I would like to help point people’s attention to what is important – that of what the choice really is – ie. the truth.  For some time now, this vigorous debate has polarized into two camps who feel their view is correct. But the truth is that both sides actually just present people’s opinions as to whether the same choice is right or wrong.  The pro-life camp believes that abortion is murder – which of course it is – I would like to challenge anyone to prove that it isn’t actually killing a developing human being.  The pro-choice side basically says – I want to have the choice to end the life of my child.  What is needed, is to look very, very clearly at the choice.

The truth, which is obscured by this cloud of debate, is that, apart from living in a Communist country where choice may be severely limited, we in democratic nations have abundant freedom to choose – and choose many, many things about our individual lives each day.    So what about the choice itself?  I guess my whole point with this writing is to say to everyone out there, stop for a moment and look with eyes, hearts and minds wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open….with abortion, what is it exactly that one is choosing?!

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As free will beings, created by God – and I know a lot of people still don’t believe that, but hey I tossed my hat in the ring on that point a long time ago and will til I die – we make countless choices each day. And what every good parent and teacher knows and tries to impart, is that there are consequences for choices. Children and students are constantly told to “Make good choices!”  So what happens when we turn into adults?  Why are we then told the complete opposite – that it is perfectly okay to make a bad choice if you feel you have a reason for it. But here’s the rub.  Abortion has become something that has been left to the discernment of each individual person as to whether it is right or wrong, and politicians and governments have given people the right to choose abortion in many places. But what about God’s law?  The law of love?

Let’s examine the truth.  And here is where I will weigh in with my personal testimony.  People who know me, know I have six wonderful, beautiful, talented, unique, accomplished children.  They also know what a wonderful, bustling, zany family unit we are and many remark that they have never seen such closeness in a family. The facts are though, that my family is not complete.  Due to three miscarriages and one abortion, four children are missing from the daily scene of our family life.  I didn’t choose or control the miscarriages, so although I grieved them, they definitely didn’t affect me the same way as the loss of the child I chose to kill.

I know I am using very blunt language here, but someone has to be blunt. Humanity is in too much of a cloud of confusion and political correctness to hear anything well without some bluntness.  So the truth in my life is that one of my wonderful, beautiful, talented, unique, accomplished children is not here on this planet contributing to the human race and the enrichment of our own family life (not to mention the consequence of the complete loss of their own life on this planet), because I chose to kill it…

There is no other way to say this.  It is the truth.

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I wanted to give each of you who has chosen to read this far a little pause above to try to let sink in what I just said.  I, single-handedly, chose to kill my own child. Truth.  So let’s get into the other truth that surrounds the abortion debate. Many women feel that abortion is their only choice for so many reasons – fear, illness, finances, threats, rape, embarrassment, selfishness; the list is as endless as the individual circumstances that surround each woman who makes that choice.

In my case, I didn’t have an entirely ideal family of origin life – though I know my parents did the best they could. My mother became ill with a severe lifelong illness when I was like, four or five, and is still severely ill to this day – some 50 years later. My father, though he stayed with my mother, of course suffered profoundly at the loss of his spouse as he knew and expected it.  And so he worked.  A lot.  I am not faulting him, because he is wonderful in many ways, but the truth is that because of these circumstances, I had no real mother and my father was rarely home. When he was he was just tired and didn’t really have time to listen to two kids.  So I grew up seeking solace in other people and that, for a young woman, included boyfriends.

Is this sounding familiar to some of you yet?  At the time of my difficult decision, I, like many young women out there, found myself with a boyfriend who said ‘get rid of it or I will leave you’.  Not ideal.  So between extreme fear, the feeling that I had no-one to turn to, and embarrassment and mortification of what potential course my life would take if ‘I kept it‘, I made the only decision I thought I could.

However, things definitely took a nasty turn for the worse after that choice – and I hear this isn’t uncommon for women.  I descended into a mini-hell of anxiety disorder that didn’t resolve itself until many years later.  Truly, I only found I came to full healing after I got myself into church again…btw.  Now, many, many years later, I have been completely anxiety free for over 25 years and with the hindsight of 20/20 came to realize in truth, just what I had done.

The complete story of the horror I suffered afterwards would take too long to share here.  But beyond the physical consequences, which I don’t have full ability to see (what would my child be doing right now?…what skills, talents, impact on humanity has been lost?…what grandchildren will I never know?…the list is endless!), there are spiritual consequences to violating a pretty standard commandment – Thou Shalt Not Kill.  I can’t say I have full insight into those consequences either – but God has shown me so much about the truth of the spiritual life, that I can’t tell you how profoundly grateful I am that God allows us to say sorry and provides a means of spiritual reconciliation as well.

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So here’s more truth.  Abortion also has spiritual consequences. According to the Bible and The Ten Commandments, it falls under ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’… murder.  But hey, people don’t want to hear that anymore.  They feel justified, for whatever reason, in their choice. But the truth is that it is one of the more serious offenses against love – the act of killing another person – of literally robbing them of their life.  And I also feel there is no more serious crime than a mother killing her own child – and I committed it.

So, I get it.  I have been there.  I have been in those shoes.  I don’t speak from some pulpit with judgement.  I speak with knowledge, insight, experience and hindsight.  And I still don’t judge.  But the reality is that there is a Judge at the end of our lives.  That also is Truth.  And so what I also know firsthand, is that this Judge is also Mercy itself.  I have personally experienced this reconciliation, healing & Mercy.

The bottom line is that I committed the worst sin I figure any human being can commit.  True, I was younger and didn’t have ideal support in the midst of one of the most difficult circumstances of my life, and didn’t really have the emotional maturity and discernment to see clearly what I was really choosing.  But the facts are that I did it.  And not only that, at the time I felt relief after I did!  I was ‘free’…or so I thought.  Life could go back to ‘normal’.  The truth is we are never free from our choices or our consequences.

So today, I challenge all of you to hear with grace-inspired ears the truth I am presenting to you.  I feel there is absolutely no way around the fact that abortion is murder.  There is also the fact that we live in a time when people are free to choose just about anything.  What is needed is serious reflection and discernment as to what our choices truly ARE:

What is it one is choosing when they choose abortion?

That is the question.  I invite all to examine their conscience and see if it convinces you in the same manner as this writing.

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Project Rachel – Hope After Abortion

So how does one go forward?  Just as there are consequences to actions, mercifully there are avenues to reconciliation and healing.  The primary responsibility for this also lies with the individual person.  No one can lead you to it (except God) and make you choose it.  That free will thing…

So of utmost importance for our spiritual and physical well being is the necessity of seeking spiritual reconciliation with God.  It is the beginning of true healing on all levels.  Seek out a minister, priest, church, or God himself in your prayer life.  Get started on the path of reconciliation with God.  He understands and knows us far better than we know ourselves.  And I also speak from firsthand knowledge when I say I know what I a talking about when I speak about a path to reconciliation.  I have experienced it!  Personally, being brought into the fold of the Catholic church, I was able to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  It is essentially the physical manifestation to us of the spiritual truth of God’s forgiveness when we come to him seeking forgiveness.  Again – we choose.  God forces no-one.  Not only this, but my life is witness to the untold blessings God bestows even when you have had to come back from a serious error – He loves!  He blesses!  He is so very, very overjoyed at a soul that ‘repents’.  I cannot even convey to you the Love that God is!  We are His children!  He cannot bear the loss of any one of us – just like you couldn’t bear the loss of one of your own children.

It is true that it may take some time before you realize the necessity of pursuing this spiritual reconciliation.  It took me many, many years.  However it is better to realize, even at your last breath, than to never realize it at all.  To facilitate this, there are many avenues one can pursue on the path to healing.  A good one that was recommended to me recently by my Spiritual Director is Project Rachel – Hope After Abortion.  I encourage you to make the choice to pursue healing for yourself. But, like most of the choices of our life, only you can choose it.  I have also learned that counselling can be very beneficial, but the deepest, fullest, most encompassing and necessary healing is the relationship with God.  And to be completely free, I have learned there are specific ‘directed’ prayers one can say to liberate oneself from all the spiritual consequences of abortion.  These will be added to the prayers section on this website in the near future.

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I believe that the world and humanity hang on the edge of a very dangerous precipice due to so many free will choices that are outside of love – God’s will for us.  The chasm between humanity and God has widened to its deepest since the beginning of time.  Time is running out.  Our free will choices have consequences. Abortion is one of the most dire of those choices and is reaping us untold, unseen and unprecedented consequences that many of us do not understand.  But all I can do is speak the truth and point the way.  Each of you must choose to heal the breach between yourself and your loving Father, Creator God.  There is still time to make a difference!

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For those who are Catholic I highly encourage you to pick up your Rosaries for the The Rosary of the Unborn.  Prayer can and will make a difference, but it is ever, ever so urgent that those with ears to listen pray!  I leave you today with Heaven’s own words and exhortations below.  Join the side of truth, goodness and love NOW.  Oh my but time is ever so short if we are to steer the path of the human race from greater destruction.  I pray for your good choices, healing, reconciliation and the call to pray in the gap for those who don’t.  Every single one of us IS the difference.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

October 7, 2016
Feast of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary – 3:00 P.M. Service


(This Message was given in multiple parts over several days.)

Our Lady comes all in white. She has glittering lights around her. She is framed in the Rosary of the Unborn and is holding the Rosary of the Unborn. She says: “Praise be to Jesus.”

“Today, dear children, as you pray your rosaries, pray for the victory of good over evil. The upcoming election in this country (The U.S.A.) will affect all people and all nations, as the new president will set policies in place which will carry worldwide implications. There is an undercurrent of evil trying to influence the outcome of this political race. Threats and promises have been made. Laws have been broken and whole institutions have been compromised by bad politics. Ambition in some hearts has taken on epic proportions.”

“The Trojan Horse in all of this is compromised Truth. People unwittingly invest their support in disingenuous political figures who will never deliver on their false promises. If these are the ones to assume leadership, much in the way of prosperity and freedom will be lost.”

“The struggle has been set between good and evil. You cannot have two diametrically opposed forms of government. One will have to take power. Do not be led by compromised Truth, but by the Light of Truth itself.”

“In your hands, dear children, you hold the weapon that can expose evil and destroy Satan’s evil plans. It is your rosary. With the power of your loving rosaries, Satan will not be able to complete his plans for the destruction of the world and he will be defeated. Much of what the dragon plans to destroy will be protected. You yourselves will find a path of light through the darkness, but you must pray.”

“The reason so much of this Ministry* and the Messages** themselves are focused on the protection of life in the womb is that legal acceptance of abortion has replaced love of God and neighbor in hearts with love of self. Fulfillment of God’s Commandments is no longer a concern. Mankind’s free-will choices are the main priority. Protection of the right to lead sinful lives has permeated the highest court system.”

“All of this has obscured the difference between good and evil in hearts. This is why the conscience of the world is so confused that it cannot distinguish honesty from dishonesty in leadership. This is why poor leadership is an alternative and is even considered in the election upcoming in this country.”

“Grave concessions have been made to evil. Now it is more Satan leading this country than God. Dear children, we must courageously persevere in prayer. Prayer is the ballast holding this nation in some frail form of righteousness.”

“Dear children, I have called you here today to encourage your devotion to the Rosary of the Unborn. You must believe in the difference your prayers are making in the world all around you. The rupture of the First Seal (Rev 6:1-2) does not make your prayers ineffective, but stronger.”

“These days you have dangers all around you – terrorism and a great hurricane encroaching upon your borders. There are hidden dangers in hearts and many dishonest agendas in the minds of certain politicians. If you continue to pray your Rosary of the Unborn, perhaps Jesus will allow the fog of confusion to be lifted from the heart of the world so that all can see that abortion is the sin that catapults the world towards destruction.”

“I come to you to make you stronger and more resolute in putting an end to abortion. Great and manifold graces would flood the world if you would listen. The future would be changed and you would be at peace. God’s Will would rule hearts.”

Dear children, today I promise to take all of your concerns to Heaven with Me and place them in the Heart of My Son. Do not fear for any grace – for I am the Mother of Grace.”

“Dear children, it is My Joy to spend these short moments with you during these apparitions; but in Heaven, I will be with each of you always – if you earn your salvation through Holy Love. I am looking forward to that.”

“Today, I’m blessing you with My Blessing of Holy Love.

* The ecumenical Ministry of Holy and Divine Love at Maranatha Spring and Shrine.
** The Messages of Holy and Divine Love at Maranatha Spring and Shrine.

Purported message from Mary to visionary Maureen Sweeney-Kyle at http://www.holylove.org

After I published this October 10th, I received another message in my email from a different blog I follow and believe to be authentic.  I decided to update this writing October 11th to include the following, quite sobering message – this time allegedly from our Saviour, Jesus.  I was so surprised to see the parallel theme to the writing I had already published, but I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Like I have said, God knows it all and is so very far ahead of us as a good Parent – Thank God!:

Be tireless workers in the sweet harvest of souls….
Psalm 9:15 The nations have sunk in the pit that they made; in the net that they hid has their own foot been caught.

Beloved, there is indeed much more to come. For those people and nations that do not repent of their evil ways, sorrow and woe will fall upon them. They will reap a bitter harvest, exactly what they have sown. But do not despair, my little ones, for unless the sinner feels the pain of his own sin, his chance for repentance lessens. A good parent does not shield his child from consequences, but certainly his vigilance and care for that child increases. When the child returns contrite in spirit, the parent is waiting with arms outstretched. So it is with the great and many sinners of this age. Their bitter harvest will sour their own stomachs. But when they return to me contrite in spirit, I will be waiting with outstretched arms. Pray for their conversion, dear children. Be tireless workers in the sweet harvest of souls.




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