Archive for June, 2009


In Part III of this series I shared my personal experience of breaking free of the chains that bind us – slavery to sin.  This experience also showed how our adversary, Satan, tries to keep us bound in sin and fear.  The first step out of this bondage is to acknowledge that there is a choice to be made.  A choice for God, or not.  God is love.  Therefore choosing God means striving to live with love.  It’s that easy, and that hard.

This can especially be a difficult choice if one does not even believe there is a God.  Or a Satan, for that matter.  I must admit it is hard to wrap your head around things you cannot see.  However, we have in Jesus the visible image of the invisible God.  Everything we need to know about our spiritual battle and spiritual truth is in Jesus’s words – in our Bibles.  (We just have to get them out and read them regularly!)  And we have in our world very real circumstances of horrific evil and heroic good – things we see on a daily basis that reflect our deeper, underlying spiritual truth.

The experiences I share on these pages can only be an adjunct to solid spiritual practices made in your journey.  As I have said elsewhere, if you read these writings fairly regularly, but do nothing to get off your computer chair and into church regularly; seeking enlightenment from prayer, holy religious leaders and the Bible, then my sharing won’t be of much help.  In the end, all it can really be is witness to what I have personally experienced along the journey and encouragement for yours.  It is my hope that this witness at least helps you to recognize that you are on a spiritual journey.  Life here on earth is not just some biological accident, as an atheist would like to believe (see a previous writing, ‘Evolution as Creation?’).  Even the fact that we have basic concepts of good and evil as two polar forces in our existence points to the underlying truth of the spiritual life.

This underlying spiritual truth is something I, and I imagine many others, have been graced to see first-hand from time to time.  However, to be honest, I have wondered for many years why I was experiencing the vivid spiritual dreams and experiences that I have.  My spiritual director believes I have been given a gift of ‘inner sight’ – glimpses into the spiritual realm – mostly in the dream state – that show truth about this realm.  Sometimes this truth – ‘seeing’ it directly in the dream state has been quite scary.  I think this is why many people have chosen to believe there is no such thing as Satan or demons – it is much less scary to believe these things don’t exist.  But I tell you:  Recognizing the truth of their existence is a big step toward the safety that is God.  As soon as you begin to make these steps the adversary of our souls begins to lose his power.  You do not need to fear!  His power is limited and is of no real danger to a soul who chooses God, even though he will continue to try to drag you down.  The more a soul decides to work for God, the more the evil spirits do not like it, and I say this because I speak from direct experience, which will be shared on these pages.  However, even though they may rage with everything they have, the soul choosing God is safe.

Part of this safety, for those further along the spiritual path who have chosen God and have committed to the difficult walk towards holiness, is prayer.  This becomes a constant companion, in one form or another.  The higher these souls climb, the more grateful they are to God and to those whose prayers and sufferings helped them get where they are.  They start to share in the desire to pray and help others find their way in the spiritual journey.  Hence this website!  As you will see, though, as these writings unfold, the evil spirits try to quell your efforts.  The following excerpt of a spiritual dream is one of my early experiences of the fear tactics they employ:

April 13, 2002

Dreamt I was in a home that looked like my own.  I was getting set to leave the kitchen to go to bed, but I stop at the stairwell that goes up because I start to see objects moving by themselves in the kitchen.  There is some kind of electrical disturbance in the room. 

I start to recite the prayer to discern spirits (found in this website under Prayers) because Satan has appeared at the top of a darkened stairway to the basement and has come to attack me.  I stumble reciting the prayer because I’m so afraid.  I know I must complete the prayer properly.  I’m not sure if I did or not because I was so afraid.  Next thing I know I am in the kitchen standing squarely facing Satan who is threatening me with a tirade of verbal attack.

I don’t remember what Satan was saying to me, except that it was vile and extremely hostile.  He doesn’t leave his position at the top of the stairs – I don’t think he can come any closer to me.  I leave the kitchen and house to go get help.  (I made a call in real life to my spiritual director – Father Kane.   Blessings from a holy priest of yourself and your home are of great help in combatting their efforts).

I think with a little more effort I could have remembered some of the things Satan was threatening me with, but in real life (when recording the dream) I decided I didn’t really want to know because I was too afraid…

In subsequent experiences I did remember certain things that were said, and where I could not remember verbatim I remembered the nature of the threat.  I have found that the more I have grown in my spiritual journey and the more I have learned to ‘work’ with this gift, the more I have been able to remember verbatim when things have been spoken to me by Satan, Mary, Jesus, God or various saints.  I really do not understand this ‘gift’ and probably never will.  In the end these glimpses of the spiritual realm I share with you will only be a partial picture of the truth presented in the Bible and by the Christian churches, particularly the Catholic Church.  It is my hope that this partial picture is a good fruit for as many people as possible.

The following spiritual dream shows an overall synopsis of the struggle of the spiritual life, with the forces of good and evil, the truth of the two paths we must choose from and the help and protection that is available to souls from Mary, Jesus, God and His holy angels and saints:

May 29, 2002

Dreamt I was in a large whitewater rafting boat going down choppy water.  I am in the boat with other people and the river’s path will take us over a huge, scary waterfall and to some really rough whitewater through a gorge below.  Above this rough river is a bridge.  I am frantically directing people in the boat on what they must do to get the boat into an eddy to escape the waterfall and climb the embankment to safety.  We succeed and I walk down the road beside the river and gorge, hearing the cries of those who could not escape.  I have to decide at this point whether to keep walking or stay and help those still trapped in the river.  I do not leave – instead I go back and am in the river again with another boatload of people repeating the above scenario (trying, directing and saving people).  The second time I see a woman standing on the bank that looks like Mary and I ask her to give me her hand to help pull the lifeboat to safety.  We succeed again.  This time I am lead down a road toward my childhood home.  It has grown very dark.

I am shown by someone that a portal or vortex is being opened up between Heaven and Earth.  Ships (like futuristic spaceships) are entering our atmosphere.  As I watch I am not sure what is going on and whether the ships are good or evil, but I am shown that it is both.  Bad ships and bad entities (spirits) are here attacking people, but I am also shown that there are good ships and good entities (spirits) doing battle with the evil ones to protect and fight for the people who are being attacked by them.

I become alarmed that I should run or protect myself, but then I am shown, before I have a chance to flee, that for every evil entity that tries to attack me, a good entity completely blocks them before they can get anywhere near me, so I don’t even need to worry about it – I am being completely protected and cared for behind the scenes, so to speak.  Me seeing this scene is not something other people can see – they are only feeling the ramifications of the action behind the scenes (in their lives).  To see that I am utterly protected and that I don’t have to even concern myself with this is very reassuring, but I feel some concern about others as I watch this…

Dream language is very symbolic and it was not until later, as I learned more about Catholic Church teaching and biblical symbols that I realized the full extent of what this dream was showing:

The chaotic river is the life out of control – struggling with sin, discouragement, weariness, grief and temptation.  The lifeboat is symbolic of grabbing the lifeline (reaching out to God) to safety out of this river/path – and I believe Mary helps people to do this – even if they are not Catholic (I wasn’t Catholic when she helped me!).  The bridge represents Jesus – One who laid down His life so that we would be able to climb to heaven.  The road is the spiritual walk to holiness (and it is no coincidence that the neighbourhood setting of the dream was Heart’s Desire – it is your heart’s desire – hidden under the pain, disillusionment, fear and fetters of your life).  I was shown that there are good and bad entities on this road – some here to help us and some to try and sabotage our walk.  I have been blessed to see that I am graced with much protection from holy forces on the journey.  They are there working and waiting for you also!

Please, take a moment to reflect seriously on where you think you are at in the above scenario.  Are you in the teeming river?  Have you had dreams about being swept away by chaotic waters?  (I did for many years before I found God).  Are you looking for something, but don’t know what it is?  I know what it is that your heart desires:  God.  Love!!!  Don’t be afraid!  Take my hand!  Climb into the lifeboat to safety!  I am praying for you!


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Guiding Angel

As promised in last week’s writing, this posting will highlight my personal call to the Apostolate of Holy Motherhood.  This spiritual dream was one of the early moments of guidance from God as I was trying to discern His will for me:

 December 6, 2000

Dream of Schoolhouse with Staircases and Baby Handed to Me

I had awoken in the middle of the night and was lying there contemplating all of the unusual dreams and happenings recently and was wondering what it all means. Then I fell back asleep and dreamt the following dream:

I was sitting on a hill with my Father (he was my real father, but I since wondered if it symbolized God, so I have capitalized it). We were overlooking a stream (river) and I was talking to Him about all my unusual dreams and experiences and asking for guidance. As we are overlooking the stream my Father points to an old schoolhouse next to us (it was an old schoolhouse I recognized that is now a Heritage building in real life) and tells me to enter it.

I went at His direction and was with a woman I knew well, but dont remember who it was upon awakening. I was following her around, up and down staircases telling her about my experiences and lastly the angel dream. I was looking for answers. I knew time was running out in the period (I could sense the urgency the movement up and down staircases was endless and very purposeful the bell was going to ring). I looked up at the clock on the wall as I was standing in a landing between two staircases (one up and one down). The clock said 5 minutes to 12. The angel/lady did not seem to be listening to me so I had stopped at this landing slightly dejectedly. She left and I was alone on the landing. As I was standing there wondering where to go, a lady dressed like a nurse came up from the down flight and wordlessly handed me a newborn baby (girl I think). I was shocked. She turned to leave. I ran after her as she went down the flight of stairs and started walking along a downstairs corridor. I was asking her “What does this mean?” She was in a hurry and didnt have time to explain things fully. I said “God wants me to have another baby?” She turned and said “Sign up now before it is too late! Sarah is already dead”. They were keeping Sarah alive on life support she was standing.

I understood right away what she meant. A baby had been born to another woman (The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood…) and they needed a mother to raise the child. I ran up the narrow flight of stairs the lady had pointed to and arrived into a common birthing room. A grandmother (Mary?) in the corner was kneeling and weeping over the death of her child who had just given birth (she died in childbirth and this mother in the dream was named Sarah White).  At least two other women were in the room with their hands up offering to raise the child. I was worried they wouldnt choose me so I spoke up immediately with a loud voice and said “Ill do it!” The grandmother turned to me with great happiness and gratitude and said okay. Her child (the mother who had given birth) immediately came to life and was greeting everyone. I understood she would live for two more weeks before dying and that I would raise her child. The mother was very happy. I woke up.

I found this dream significant because shortly after I realized the “Apostolate of Holy Motherhood in Catholic Families” that I had read a couple of times was actually probably my call from Mary (and God) to be consecrated to her and join the battle for souls. I signed myself up(consecrated myself) and have been fulfilling the requirements ever since.

Great graces are promised to those who join this apostolate and soldiers in the spiritual battle are greatly needed in this time.  If you feel called to this, pray about it,  research this booklet, discuss it with your spiritual director or priest and ‘sign yourself up’ while there is still time…


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Angel Blowing the Last Trumpet


This week we take a pause from the The Face of Satan series so that I can share with you information that will hopefully be one of the tools I speak of in the spiritual battle.  Please check out the addition of the new page entitled The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood“.  In a few days there will be a posting linked to it, “Sign Up Now!” that will illustrate my own personal experience of ‘joining the battle’.

We need more prayer warriors on the good side and I trust that the information in these two writings will be powerful motivation.

God bless you all in your journey.


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