Archive for May, 2009

Earlier on in these writings I shared with you a recent spiritual dream of a sign to come for humanity and the groups of people who would be most unprepared for this coming sign.  One group, most seriously lost, was shown to be a group of souls practicing witchcraft and the occult.  These are a part of humanity that has unfortunately been seduced into worshipping and practicing evil.

The following dream – one of my earlier spiritual experiences – shows a behind the scenes peak at the spiritual battle that is raging particularly forcefully these days.  However, this battle is an unseen warzone for the most part.  We only see the repercussions in the temporal circumstances of our lives.  How much easier it would be to fight the battle if the enemy was seen and more known.  Perhaps this is why I have been experiencing these negative spiritual dreams – to shed a little light on this hidden battle…

November 4, 2001

Dreamt a friend and I somehow ended up in a meeting hall that was for satanic rituals/meetings.  I think we were Christian reporters.  There was no-one in the room but us, but some bad leader (Satan) was showing us his stage with curtains all over it with squiggly black lines.  These black lines were the names of souls who were worshipping Satan.

I said I couldn’t believe people could be sucked into doing this.  Why would they want to?  I felt so awful for them.  I told my companion:

 ‘We have to get down on our knees here and now and pray for them!” 

 I didn’t feel like I knew how to praise God and pray and ask for His help, so I kneeled and just started singing like a child a song I know from my childhood at church.  My friend joined in with me and I could feel and see a warm yellow-white light growing like a ball in front of us.  I said:

 “Can you see and feel that?  God is coming close in answer to our prayer – look!  The lines (names) on the stage and curtains are fading!”

I started to sing spontaneously in harmony, making up words to the verses that were beautiful and from the heart.  I was crying with happiness.  The Light became like a huge glow over me.  I just basked in it.  As it lifted after I finished singing we saw that the curtains had been totally cleansed of names.  I felt a great happiness at helping save so many souls, but the being on the stage was not happy with us at all.

He then left and a letter was sent to us that was many sheets of paper with symbols all over them – it was some kind of satanic coded threat.  I couldn’t understand any of it, so I brought it to Father Kane for him to interpret because I knew he would make sense of it (and indeed he has made sense of the ‘threats’ I have experienced in the years following this dream…).

Next thing I know my friend and I are going to our office next to the room we had been in to sit down at two typewriters to type out messages to try to help people by bringing them knowledge.  The information was to go to good people to help fight the battle against evil.  It was like we were supposed to be producing a newsletter (this website?).  There was so much work to do!

And indeed, there is much work to do.  Father Kane refers to prayer for this type of circumstance as ‘heavy prayer’.  It is called ‘heavy’ because it is intense prayer that is most disliked by Satan and his cohorts because it works directly against him and works to save followers from his grasp.  It is prayer that is not to be taken lightly or frivolously.  It is serious business and should be treated very seriously.  We have great need to put on the ‘whole armor of God’:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power.  Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.  Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness.  As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace.  With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  Ephesians 6:10-17, Holy Bible,  NRSV, Catholic Edition

In the donning of this armor we do well to especially arm ourselves with the Rosary.  As it asks the mother of Jesus, Mary, to pray for us, it has great power in combatting evil.  Even though I am a mother of six I have struggled to complete 15-20 decades of this prayer daily because of the things I have seen…It has been difficult, and I have had to give up many things, but I would be nowhere else.  I ask, if you have the time, for you to pick up your rosaries once again.  Even if you have only time for one decade, or five, it will be of great service to your own soul, as well as others.

And for those readers who are not Catholic, please pray in whatever way you are most comfortable, for the salvation of souls.  This can be the most simple, childlike conversation with God in your own words.  All prayer is valuable in the eyes of God and prayer is greatly needed at this time!  If you choose to invest some time in ‘heavy prayer‘ for the circumstances I have described above, please do not forget – as I have mentioned loudly elsewhere – to protect yourself first!  Invoke the protection of the Precious Blood of Jesus.  It is like a dome protective shield which the darts of the enemy (which I have also seen!) cannot penetrate.

In discussing the mounting evil in the world with Father Kane he brought up as well the growing negative influence of much of the media through movies and television.  He commented that even though many of these productions may not be classed as ‘evil’, they are nevertheless and can affect our consciousness just in the viewing.  This in turn loads the subconscious or unconscious and it can become more active there – affecting us negatively.

I wish I could ‘download’ everything I have seen these past ten years in one writing so that you could see why I speak with such urgency!  Even if I could, though, you probably wouldn’t be able to take it all in at once, so I just ask you to do what you can in prayer each day and I thank you for any extra effort you are able to make in the swinging of your sword!

God bless you all.


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The Temptation of Christ
Ary Scheffer, 1854

As I sit to write the first part of a series on the adversary of our souls, Satan, I realize that I am part of a world that, for the most part, does not believe such a being exists.

This is his greatest deception.

You cannot fight an enemy unseen, particularly if you do not believe one is there.  Yet look at the world around you.  Where does all this evil come from?

Before I go any further I think it will be helpful to quote the words of Pope Paul VI, found on this website under Spiritual Warfare:

 15 November, 1972

“What are the greatest needs of the Church today?

Do not let our answer surprise you as being over simple or even superstitious and unreal: one of the greatest needs is defense from that evil which is called the devil.

Evil is not merely a lack of something, but an effective agent, a living, spiritual being, perverted and perverting. A terrible reality…

It is contrary to the teaching of the bible and the Church to refuse to recognize the existence of such a reality… or to explain it as a pseudo-reality, a conceptual and fanciful personification of the unknown causes of our misfortunes…

That it is not a question of one devil, but of many is indicated by various passages in the Gospel (Luke 11:21, Mark 5:9). But the principal one is Satan, which means the adversary, the enemy; and with him many, all creatures of God, but fallen, because of their rebellion and damnation; a whole mysterious world, upset by an unhappy drama, of which we know very little…”

“This question of the Devil and the influence he can exert on individual persons as well as on communities, whole societies or events, is a very important chapter of Catholic doctrine which is given little attention today, though it should be studied again. Some people think a sufficient compensation can be found in psychoanalytical and psychiatric studies or in spiritualistic experiences.

People are afraid of falling into old Manichean theories again, or into frightening divagations of fancy and superstition. Today people prefer to appear strong and unprejudiced…

Our doctrine becomes uncertain, obscured as it is by the darkness surrounding the Devil. But our curiosity, excited by the certainty of his multiple existence, justifies two questions:

1. Are there signs, and what are they, of the presence of diabolical action?

2. What are the means of defense against such an insidious danger?”

 Origins, De. 7, 1972, Vol. 2, No. 24, P. 391-393

As I have mentioned before, I have, for some reason, been gifted with many spiritual and supernatural experiences, many of them occurring in the dream state.  As all of this has been unfolding over the past nine years or so I have been (thank God!) solidly under the Spiritual Direction of a retired exorcist in the Catholic Church.  He has confirmed these experiences repeatedly and it is because of his direction that these experiences are now coming to light in this website.

And to quell any musings before they begin I have to report that it is not because I have had a retired exorcist as my director that I have subsequently experienced his experiences re-hashed in the dream state.  We never discussed his experiences, as I was going to him for spiritual direction.  It was always the case that I brought my experiences to him for discernment, which he would then explain to me, with the occasional relevant example from his experience.  On the contrary, I think it is because of the things God has granted me to experience that he specifically placed me under such a solid priest’s direction.

This series on Satan and his cohorts, the demons, will be just a little ray of light illuminating an area of great darkness.  In essence I have a feeling the sharing of my satanic experiences, which will be done in chronological order, will illuminate 1) that these beings exist, 2) a little knowledge of the ‘how’ they try to operate to prevent souls’ climb to holiness and 3) a  partial picture of the nature of this unseen evil.  The chronological sharing will show how the tactics of these evil beings change as one climbs higher in the spiritual journey.

I know that this subject is not pretty or comforting.  I, for one, was always quite happy to believe things like this were not real.  I can remember watching the odd satanic horror in my youth, such as The Omen and Poltergeist, and being quite happy to tell myself it was only a movie…And let us not forget the recent release of The Exorcism of Emily Rose, based on a true story.  Because of what I have seen and know I cannot bear to even watch it.  Let’s just say I have been mightily enlightened these past nine or ten years and I share this to help you do the same.

However, you do not need to not fear! If you are reading this you already have everything you need to protect yourself from such beings and you are already stepping out of their grasp.  Invoke the protection of the Precious Blood of Jesus over yourself right now as you read this and you will be protected from everything evil that you do not wish to even think for a moment could exist.  Arm yourself!  Even if you just do it out of superstition or to err on the side of caution, you have already made a great step out of harms way.  Forgive me if this writing and the many to follow will not be soothing or popular.  I share these things to lovingly urge you to wake up. Each and every one of us is in a great battle for our souls.  Choose the good, reject the evil and make the decision to stand for God, Who is Love, today.  Our spiritual life is ongoing, so it is important to nourish it daily with prayer to help accomplish this.

Last week I shared with you a Prayer to Discern Spirits, and shared an example of how I used this in my spiritual life to discern a good spirit – an angel of God.  I promised I would show you the use of this prayer that showed the opposite, and when I set to do so I realized now was the time to write the series I promised a while ago, The Face of Satan.  In the end I cannot say I have all the answers.  Sitting firmly as we are in the physical world, we are accustomed to handling our day to day lives as they come at us visually, temporally, and rarely see the spiritual truth behind the scenes and just see and feel its ramifications.  These experiences, which will unfold over the next several weeks, are my ‘toe into the spiritual realm’, where I have seen good and bad.  The following dream experience, one of those peeks into this realm, is offered for your information and discernment.  May it and this series of writings be of aid to you in your unfolding spiritual journey:

October 11, 2000

(Dream of who ‘appeared’ to be Jesus & my deceased Grandmother)

I dreamt I was in a kitchen trying to convince my husband that I really did get the signs (real life supernatural incidents that happened in December & January) about my Grandmother (who passed away December 10, 1999 – see My Angel Story).  I may have asked for him to get a sign that she’s around so I can prove it to him.  He was sitting in a chair.  All of a sudden he goes to get up and an invisible hand pushes him back down.  It happens again.  I say “See, she’s here!”.  Then she starts to hug me (she’s still invisible).  Because I am not afraid she turns visible and I am so happy to see her.  We start talking about things.  My husband was no longer there.

We go outside and are in a garden.  As we’re talking Jesus is all of a sudden there too.  As we come back inside I’m telling both of them how happy I am to be serving the Lord and that I’ve enjoyed my work helping people at the YMCA, but now I feel called to study Theology and say that I’m starting to read theological books, etc.

Then Jesus says to me:

Yes, God is happy with you, but I don’t know why you are planning to study theology.  He never asked you to do that.  You’re serving Him just fine where you are.” (bold added for emphasis).

I stop, surprised and say:

God has not asked me to study theology?”

Jesus answers ‘no’, very sweetly and emphasizes that I am fine where I am – I don’t need to do more.  (This is ultimately a great lie, for we can all grow continually in holiness until we die).  I start to get suspicious.  Jesus and my grandmother are sitting at the kitchen table now and they’re talking.  I start sifting in my purse for a prayer my friend gave me to discern spirits (the one I have shared on this site, approved by Father Joe Kane).  I can’t find it but start to recite it from memory (they keep talking).  I complete it, but know I’ve missed a part.  I dig frantically in my purse, but all of a sudden my purse is overflowing with prayers of all kinds and I can’t find the right one (in real life there is just the prayer to discern spirits – which I have since memorized!).  I start reciting again.  Jesus is looking at me as I recite it, smiling.  I complete it again, but get it wrong again.  I’m still frantically searching.  He and my grandmother are still talking.  The third time I say to myself ‘Okay, concentrate!’  I start reciting again.  This time I remember I’ve forgotten to say the part ‘by His Holy Wounds’.  As I say these words Jesus stops talking and looks at me worriedly.  I complete the prayer properly and they both disappear.  (Father Kane has told me that in addition to the Precious Blood of Jesus, there is also great power in the Holy Wounds of Jesus.)

I become very afraid for I realize it was not Jesus and my grandmother, but of the devil.  I try to leave, but all sorts of problems are placed in my ability to get away and then someone is trying to lead me back to the garden, and I don’t want to go.  I say firmly NO, I must leave.  I wake up and as I recorded the dream I wrote:  ‘Wow – there is a real war going on for souls!’

I realize it will be very easy for many to dismiss this as a nightmare.  I was tempted to do the same.  However as I continued to climb the difficult path to holiness and wholeness – living by God’s will – the law of love – my experiences of Satan escalated dramatically.  Many of them were downright terrifying and horrifying.  I have a feeling they escalated so dramatically precisely because I would be sharing the things I have seen and experienced in this website!  Through it all though, I realized that all the power they may have had over me was already broken by my awareness, discernment and armour of prayer and the strength and protection of God, Jesus and the Holy Angels.  Of these angels, St. Michael the Arcangel is particularly charged with defending God’s children against all things evil.  Prayer to invoke his protection is also of great value.

So, while I am sure I will look like Chicken Little again to many, it does not matter.  The truth of good and evil underlying our physical reality is only too real!  This series of writings may not be one you can appreciate at this time or at this stage of your spiritual journey, but I have a feeling there may come a day when many will be very thankful for the information shared in this website…

Please tuck this away solidly in the back burner of your memory for a time when you, personally, may need it.  There is so much we do not know!  I urge you to wake up and see the signs of the times all around you and grow in your preparedness for them.  As you read the unfolding series on Satan with me I ask you to keep the following questions of Pope Paul VI in mind:

1. Are there signs, and what are they, of the presence of diabolical action?

2. What are the means of defense against such an insidious danger?”

In the normal growth of Christians, through attendance at church, prayer and the reading of the Bible, there is inherent protection against the side of evil, by growing in good.  As we advance in our spiritual growth and become more ‘front line‘ in the spiritual battle, our need for protection increases, therefore as I pray always for you, I ask for your prayers and the protection of the Lord in this front line battle.


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Angel Blowing the Last Trumpet


Please note the new addition of the following prayer under the section Prayers.   This discernment prayer was given to me many years ago by a good Catholic friend.  However, neither of us knows the source of this prayer, so if someone recognizes this and knows where it originated, please file a comment so that I can give it due recognition.

This prayer is one that I have used several times in the dream state when I was not sure which ‘spirits’ I was experiencing.  This prayer has been approved by Rev. Joseph Kane as an effective one to discern spirits.  While this prayer may not be something the average person will use in their daily life, it may be useful to some who are advancing on the spiritual path, as the enemy often tries to scare, discourage or mislead such souls to prevent their advancement in holiness.  It may also be that this prayer will be useful for future times.  Father Kane has indicated to me that the section referring to the ‘holy wounds of Jesus’ is particularly effective in combatting the enemy.  In addition to this tool in our prayer arsenals, the invocation of the protection of the Precious Blood of Jesus is also a quick spiritual prayer of protection.  I present the following for your information, discernment and use in our common spiritual battle:

“If you are of my Lord Jesus Christ, then you are welcome, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (making the sign of the cross).  If you are not of my Lord Jesus Christ, then by His holy wounds, His agonizing passion, cruel death and glorious resurrection, you are to be gone now, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (also while making the sign of the cross).  Amen.”

I have used this prayer more than once in the dream state when it appeared I was experiencing something of the spirit world.  I have wondered if it is with the help of grace that I am so ‘conscious’ in my sub-conscious when experiencing these things and therefore know to use and can remember this prayer!  On occasion it would appear the spirits were good and stayed, and unfortunately, on other occasions, they disappeared after my recitation of this prayer in the dream state.  There is so much we do not know!  I present the following example of its use in one of my own early spiritual experiences:

NOVEMBER 12, 2000

Dream of me being a Bride Called to a Wedding Supper

I dreamt I was walking up a hill at my campsite.  I was escorted to a forest on the grounds after I climbed the hill and while there by a table a spirit voice said to me:

“How can I explain to you what we are?”

I said back to (her?):

“You don’t need to.  I believe in you.”

Then she appeared in front of me as an angel.  She looked human, with a long robe, long wavy auburn hair with a band tied around her forehead and she had wings.  When I saw her I remembered I should be testing the spirits and became very afraid.  I said the prayer (above) my friend had given me in real life, but said it in my head in the dream as my throat was frozen with fear.  She came closer and kneeled down in front of me as if to bow or kiss my hand and I guess it made me less afraid as she humbled herself before me, so I just barely audibly said the prayer out loud a second time and she didn’t disappear!  I told her she was welcome.

Then my husband to be came, all dressed in a tuxedo (not my husband in real life).  He told me it was time for the feast – that the guests were gathering.  While he was talking to me the angel hid, almost shyly, behind a huge tall upright box – it’s uprightness was the main, outstanding feature.  It appeared to be an upright cardboard box on the picnic table in front of us.  The angel had her hands touching the box.  After my husband left I saw myself with pen and paper in hand writing something.  It was only one line I wrote as I stood looking at the pad, but I can’t remember what I wrote except to remember the name at the beginning of the line.  It was phonetically Maria, but it was spelled Marea.  I kept reading the name over and over again so that I would not forget it.  I was dressed in a beautiful, elaborate white wedding dress.

Then the angel disappeared because it was time to go to the feast, which everyone around me was busily preparing.  It was a huge, beautiful home and they were preparing a meal.  I don’t know whose home it was.  It seemed everything was being done for the benefit of my husband, whom everyone knew, and I just had to show up.   I loved my husband very much and he loved me.  I woke up.

This dream shows a personal experience that illuminates the scripture references to Jesus as the Bridegroom calling us to the wedding feast.  Scripture imagery is a help to our prayers and teaching, so we should nourish our prayer life with the scriptures regularly.

This dream was also one of the profound early spiritual experiences that has changed me interiorly, as is the common path in the spiritual walk to holiness.  It is often in these unseen, deep, personal, profound experiences that God changes a person from the inside out, in a way known to the experiencer, but unseen by even those closest to them.  Those of you who have experienced things like this will understand what I say here. 

Regardless, I have included this experience mainly to illuminate the need for the use of prayer and discernment in spiritual experiences.  We know very little about the ability of the enemy of our souls, Satan, to impersonate beings of light.  Our safe refuge, one way or another, is always Jesus.  Perhaps next week will be a good time for me to illustrate the use of this prayer in another spiritual dream where it unmasked the deceit of the enemy…



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