Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘VISIONS’ Category

First I want to take a minute to wish you all a very blessed and Merry Christmas!  If your home is like mine, I am sure you have all been super busy with all the preparations, and perhaps are now enjoying a little downtime!

Such is the case in our home, and today finally lent a little moment to sit and write again.  As I progress through my years of experiences and dreams, I come to the next couple of chronological experiences and dreams (with an older one that ties in), and so just continue to share that which has been unfolding the past fifteen years or so in my spiritual journey.  Again all one can do with this and experiences other people are sharing, is watch and pray – for God’s light and discernment as we all journey forward into uncertain times ahead indeed.

February 1, 2008 (An experience during Eucharistic Adoration @ church)

I had what I can only describe as an interior vision while I was praying near the end of Eucharistic adoration this morning.  I saw the right arm of Jesus extend from the Host, and He placed it on the top of my head (I could literally feel it (!)).  Then He said in almost a shout command:

GO!!! PREACH UNTO THE NATIONS!”

That was all He said.  I told my pastor as we had had a meeting scheduled right after mass that morning to discuss my experiences and finalize his approval that he felt my experiences were from God (as my other Directors did).  When we met he told me it was the sign that he had been praying for (he had been praying for me and direction regarding all of this that I had been discussing with him for months – he had been praying thus during the same Eucharistic adoration).  In our meeting he said, ‘that’s good enough for me – this is the sign I prayed for – you have my permission to ‘go preach’)…and so here I am…

The next two dreams tie together with the theme of the oft-talked about three days of darkness and a coming time of God’s chastisement.  Since dreams are highly symbolic and could definitely just be personal dreams rehashing my own subconscious, I leave discernment to others.  I have to say though, that I find it coincidental that I dreamt of the ‘three days of darkness’ while having no conscious knowledge of this Catholic ‘prophecy’ prior to dreaming it…In the end these experiences and dreams reiterate the need to seek God, and having found Him, place all your trust in Him through the storms of life and the unprecedented storms that are brewing; storms I have already spoken of here.

October 1, 2005

Dreamt I was in a house in a neighbourhood.  It was the middle of the night – 3:30 and all of a sudden the sky became lit up as if it was day.  People wandered outside in great confusion as to what was happening. 

GREAT signs were in the sky (I’ve had other dreams before with different signs in the sky, but never so many of such large size and variety).  I said, “Oh my God, it’s Christ’s cross”.  There was a huge cross laid lengthwise (lying) across the sky.  It looked wooden, but like a ghost cross – all made of sky elements.  I started to cry and exclaim “Oh, Father, I had no idea it would be so soon!  I did not expect it so soon!”  It had been delayed, and postponed a year – we had been given a years’ grace, but now it was here.

There were things attached or appearing at the cross beam end which faced my vision that I did not understand.  It was figures of men, one after the other, that reminded me of constellations for some reason – they were clear shape outlines, like ghosts – like the cross – Apollo, Hercules? Fuzzy.  Several appeared one after the other at this part of the cross.  I continued to exclaim and proclaim to all around me that I had been expecting this.

Then a strange sight indeed took place in the sky in front of this cross – a vision of successive animals was seen (animals/species of the earth).  They each (one of each species) came forward and kneeled over mankind in the sky as if testifying and spoke, each in turn, of the evils perpetrated against them by mankind – man’s sins.  Many varied animals/species of the earth came.  They each appeared in turn in colour in the sky that was just grey with slight cloud and the cross and crystal clear ghost-like symbols of these men/constellations.  I remember specifically (maybe because I think it was the last) a horned rhinocerous, but coloured orange and black, like a tiger, not grey.  He was a most large animal testifying.

The animals’ testimonies could not be heard by any of the humans on the earth as they each testified, but as we watched we could see their mouths moving in speech and I just KNEW somehow that this was what each was speaking.  After each had appeared  (like a flashing picture line-up) the scene vanished and the sky was left with the IMMENSE cross hovering.  Most people began to be afraid and started questioning their lives/religion.  Some still ignored/denied and walked away stone-faced, unwilling to believe what was unfolding in their day. I alternatively cried out in fear and joy – fear for the denunciation that was coming to the earth and exhortations to my fellow-men to repent, and joy that I would so soon see my Beloved Jesus.

I said to any who would listen “I believe this cross will be in the sky three days with continuous daylight. Then, however, there will be three days of darkness.  What emotions I felt.  I still cry as I type this dream!   Some were very startled and believed and asked what they needed to do.  They felt contrition for all the wrongs they had done and cried.  I asked them if they were sorry for their sins and they said yes.  Then I think it became as if we were on a large boat in a house/neighbourhood (the ark of Mary?). I heard an immense noise of wind at the front of the boat.  I went to the bow, and saw and felt God’s spirit – with immense power and speed rushing around and around me at this front of the house/boat/neighbourhood in a large circle- massive winds of immense force, energy and power.  I felt as if or knew that God was preparing to lift us out of the way…not sure how I knew this…nothing was communicated to me here…I could just tell what God was doing by the action of His Spirit.  It was then that I rushed back to the back/middle of the boat or into the house/neighbourhood to try to bring as many with me as possible.  I especially wanted those closest to me to come with me.  It was world chaos at this point and I felt I had to perform some emergency  intervention to help people to be saved…

The Three Days’ Darkness: Prophecies of Saints and Seers: Albert J. Hebert: Amazon.com: Books

February 3, 2008

I had a long saga dream about the commencement of fire dropping from the sky like meteorites – destruction worldwide coming.

I was in a small school which was also a home.  I was rounding up as many as would listen and told them to get in the basement.  I told them to come in or they would die.  I brought many children down.  My family was all there.  Many did not start listening to me until the fire started dropping from the sky – until it was virtually too late.  Many , many children were brought in, however, and animals.  I saw in another room of the basement animals two by two; two of each species like in the days of Noah.  In the group of people there were mostly women and lots and lots of children.

As I surveyed the basement and the quarters we were going to have to live in for three days, I saw a woman who was a teacher.  She had a lot of knowledge.  I saw her writing on a full blackboard (which was actually green in the dream) with formulas etc. of math, the sciences etc., to teach these children while in this safe place, while the rest of the people outside were being destroyed by the fire falling from the skies.  We had to be down there three days.  We were provided for by God while there – we would all be okay for water, provisions, sleeping areas, heat, facilities, etc., without having had any resources.  There were lots of blankets and pillows too.  Everything we would need to survive these three days was there.

However, I went all around issuing commands to all, as I brought people into this basement as this worldwide conflagration hit.  I said:  “You must close all the windows and curtains and you must then again hang blankets over the rods to completely cover the windows to block out the immense light of the fire”.  

Everyone worked together to do this as there were many big windows in this basement for some reason.  They listened to me and did as I said.  Some were a bit agape that I knew just what to do as this catastrophe was hitting the earth (panic, death, fire – like meteorite bombs).  I said “I have seen this in advance so I have been prepared”.  I knew this was coming and what to do.

I had to go outside at the very last minute to try to call as a last warning to encourage people to come in and I managed to get people to come into the safe haven even at the very last moment as the bomb meteorite hit as a streaming diagonal fiery meteorite.  I told everyone that we would have to ride this out down in that basement for three days.

As we covered the last of the windows the destruction really came down and for some reason a huge rolling surge of water crashed toward our house after the meteorite fire hit and it was full of garbage and debris.  It crashed against our house as we stood back from the wall a little, wondering if it would hold and it did.

We had Brittany with us and would adopt her as a daughter.  We tried to save her mother, but it was too late.  Brittany grieved but healed in the three days and we adopted her as a daughter.

I have to tell you I wonder always at the symbolism contained in these vivid dreams and try to make sense of it all.  One of the elements from this dream puzzled me even up until today – that of the figure/character “Brittany” in this dream, but when I went googling for images of the “three days of darkness”, I was quite shocked to discover a prophecy related to, of all things, an actual physical place called Brittany, in France, and the prophecy that it will be spared most of the destruction from the worldwide “three days of darkness” and will be a place where Catholics flock to as a shrine after the prophesied event.  I provide a link to the website in question here, for any interested to further investigate (because I certainly do not believe everything written on the internet…), but the coincidence was quite startling…

What to make of all this?  Who is to truly say.  I myself struggle with the vivid dreams and words I have experienced and wonder if it and they all mean what they suggest.  I feel like the Grinch who puzzed and puzzed ’til his puzzler was sore…but in the end I don’t think I need to understand it all.  I am simply the messenger passing on that which I have experienced.  I leave the discernment to the testimony of the future and the speculations of those with more knowledge than I.  In the end the message I proclaim is still one and the same:

There is a God.  Our lives continue after this one on earth.  How you behave and what you choose is infinitely important.  Sin is to be avoided and repented of.  God desires us to come back to Him in order to live with Him for eternity as children of God.  God is goodness, life and love and the epitomy of fulfillment for our souls.  It appears a great time is coming as warning to draw people back to God and to purge the world of those who persist in evil.  Souls of the world…heed this small voice crying in the wilderness before it is too late…

Karen

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

I have spent many years sharing many things on this website.  My hope is that it does not fall on deaf ears, for those who really need to hear.

I am surely not the only voice on the stage asking for souls to listen to the truth of God, or the Way forward; there are many.  I also don’t claim infallibility, and can only offer my journey and the few words I have been given from the Great Man Upstairs, to help souls to recognize that this journey on earth is just that…a journey…not the end…rather the beginning…and the beginning of an end that is chosen by each person.

There are many twists and turns on the journey.  Each person is, in the end, responsible for their own salvation and their own choices.  Others can only but point the way and serve as witness.  This is something I know I have been called and commissioned to do by many signs too numerous to count, and it is actually a joy.  And while it is a joy, it is also something I take quite seriously and consider a solemn responsibility.

I am here to say that where we go at the end of this life is under our control.  Where the world goes is under our control – each of us has a hand in it from the things that come out of our hearts.  What you do while you are here is of utmost importance.  This applies to everyone!  No-one is exempt from the discernment required of the spiritual life.  The fact that you are here on the earth means that you were created by God, and that you have a holy purpose, aside from wandering after the myriad of distractions available on the earth.  This is not to say that you do not live your life, and go to work, and enjoy the many things of the world that have been placed here.    Your purpose is to discover God and to become Holy; to serve others…  Ideally, your purpose is then to fulfill a mission that no-one else was created to fulfill – only you.  Sometimes that mission involves helping other people find the truth or higher purpose of living, and enabling others to reach great heights of holiness.  Every good work and prayer that you do changes the course of this world.  Nothing is too small, when done for love.

I have to be honest, though, and say we need more souls discerning and choosing the side of good.  I also truly wonder how many people spend time praying, which is essential in the spiritual journey.  When I go to church on Sundays, for instance, I have to say that I’m dismayed in my own Catholic Church at just how much chatter is going on right up to the moment of the opening hymn.  I sometimes feel like I am the only person in the entire church on Sunday mornings praying.  I actually have to plug my ears with my fingers in order to try to find the silence to pray to our God.  And this is while in the church, for what is most likely the only time most will set foot in church the entire week.  Not only that, but these people are a fragment of society that actually bothers to go to church at all.  So I ask myself:  If people are talking for every possible moment until mass begins, and they march out while the closing hymn starts, when are these people praying???

My answer is, never.

 

I hear through various other websites that there is a holy remnant that is being prepared by God for these times…that this holy remnant is a people who love God deeply in their hearts and are striving to live the Christian life amidst a sea of bitterness, anger, animosity, busyness, apathy, fear and aggression.  I also had a very vivid dream myself, showing the church being torn apart by a large dark serpent coming out of the sea…literally the foundations and buildings were being ripped to shreds, and a large portion of the congregation was swept away into the dark sea with this sea-dragon…and the portion that I saw being swept away were ones who lived their faith life on the surface…busy with the social, surface chatty habit of being a churchgoing Christian, but with no depth.  I also saw that the inner being of the church – the Blessed Sacrament and the altar, will be kept safe, and some who cling to the shred of rock left that is attached to this inner life of the church will be kept safe, but the rest will be swept away – into the sea with the dragon.  Mother Mary was in the dream as well, and she was busy in the area with the Blessed Sacrament – working and serving behind the scenes.

So I am going to pause here for emphasis:  THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO STOP PRAYING!  If you never have, it truly is the time to start!  Consider the news headlines…If you knew prayer (not to mention being a better person and helping others do the same) could help the headlines be a better thing, wouldn’t you want to do a little bit to help them improve?  For the world?  For yourself?  For your children?  It was never more urgent than it is at the hour that we are at right now in the world.  The direction of the world and the final direction of souls depends upon your prayer and mine.

With this exhortation, I share now, the few words given me by God, that were next in line in my chronological sharing.  They kind of happen to line up quite nicely with the writing that dropped out of my heart today, when I sat and prayed, “God, what do you want me to say to your people today?”

His answer was this:

November, 2007 – exact date unrecorded

This was an interior vision while I lay praying to God.  It was not a dream:  I was praying to God one night as I often do when I wake in the middle of the night.   I was praying this night, saying how thankful I was to have been called to help save souls and how I wanted so badly to help save many souls with my prayer.  Just then God said:

Save souls…

And then I saw a spiral bound book being opened to a page and on the page God finished the sentence in writing:

from drowning.

In my next writing I will find and share the exact dream that shows the church being torn apart and souls set adrift amidst a dark sea with this sea serpent/dragon.  It was quite vivid and disconcerting.  In the meantime, I ask you to consider how your prayer life is lived out – both in church and out.  Be honest.  If you find it is lacking, make it a priority (and I will add here that the rosary is one of the most powerful you will ever utter). If you find that you are one of those who steps into church every Sunday and never says a single prayer while you are there, but has every word to chatter to your neighbour, I ask you to search yourself and your relationship to our unseen God.  If you never ever take a moment to try to talk to Him, or listen so that He might speak back, how can you consider yourself in relationship with Him?  How can you hope to lead others to Him?  How can you hope to know what He would like of you?  How can you love Him, if you do not know Him?  If you do not love Him, who IS love, how well do you love? If you love love, then you love.  It is that simple and that hard.  Get praying!

Karen

Read Full Post »

Jesus with the Sheep that was Lost

Jesus with the Sheep that was Lost

 

At the beginning of Lent I promised to share a supernatural occurrence I experienced after my first confession.  It was one of those rare, special moments when one has a glimpse into the spirit realm.  I share this experience with you this Easter Season, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.  It is and should be one of the most joyous times of the year. 

This celebration, marked by Christians, noted solely as the ‘visitation of the Easter Bunny’ by much of the secular world and outright scorned and mocked by atheists, should be a very joyous, sacred, awe-inspiring, thankful celebration.  Instead, as the world veers more and more into darkness, rejection of God, rejection of the Church and disdain for holiness and celebrates instead the faint blinking lights of humanity’s own reasoning, the light of truth and the celebration of truth are being lost. 

And yet the truth of Christ’s resurrection, as a means for us all to be resurrected in the life to come, is the hope of our entire lives here on earth!  How many do not believe this fact anymore!  How horrifying to think that many people will only come to realize this truth at the moment of death.  How much better to at least open yourself to the possibility of the truth of the Bible, to even just err on the side of caution…

And so, to assist you in the opening of your hearts, I have established this website.  And today I share with you another glimpse into that truth – this experience, which illuminated, for me, the Parable of the Lost Sheep.  I believe it was a moment when I saw, just a little, rejoicing in heaven over the fact that I ‘repented of my sins’ after my first confession in the Catholic Church. 

I know that many hearing me speak of the need to repent immediately feel apathy, disdain, disbelief, even loathing that such ‘an antiquated concept’ is still being preached…Nevertheless, I know that God is asking it – both through a dream I have already shared and through experiences I will share in future.  What if I am right and this need to repent is true and urgent and you ignore the warnings and never do it?  I, for one, did not want to take the chance…

Here’s what I experienced after I made my first confession after almost 40 years of life on this earth, unfortunately making mistakes , as we all do – some little and some not so little…

 

Rainbow Halos

Rainbow Halos

It was, I believe, the fall of 2000.  I was in the RCIA – the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults – and was looking forward to becoming Catholic the following Easter.  In the meantime I was voraciously reading a book given to me by a good Catholic friend.  She had received it from a friend of hers and that friend had told her that she just knew that my friend was supposed to give it to me.  It was a book called “The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood“.  It is a compilation of visions and messages that a woman in the United States purportedly received from Jesus and Mary in the late 1980’s.  It has received the Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur.  In one of the messages Jesus is advising not to put off availing oneself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation – urgently advising people to go to confession.  He says something to the effect of ‘do not delay – tomorrow is no more – go even as you read this.’

I was on my second or third reading of this amazing book (click the link above if you would like to get a copy).  It wasn’t until the third read-through or so that I realized – wow – he is saying ‘go – even as you read this’.  I started to think ‘maybe I should go’.  So, even though I wasn’t yet Catholic (but had been attending for years with my family), I decided to err on the side of caution and heed the advice.  I called my parish priest and made an appointment.  He agreed to see me and hear my confession, even though I was still in the RCIA.  I sat face to face in his office and went through everything I could think of in my life that was against the Commandments and potentially a sin.  Suffice it to say it was a ‘good confession’.  He gave me penance and absolution and stood up and gave me a big hug.

I left his office that evening feeling very emotional and, well, unburdened.  I started to cry a little as I walked in the darkness to my car to drive home.  It was then that I looked up at the streetlight.  It had the most beautiful circular rainbow halo of many colours around it.  I hadn’t remembered seeing a light appear this way at night before. 

However, since I wear contact lenses I assumed it was some sort of natural effect of my tears as I looked at the light.  I got in my car to drive home.  As I drove I realized every light I saw had this most bright, beautiful rainbow halo around it – all the streetlights, all the headlights of the cars.  It was so beautiful!  Then, as I drove along a stretch of road I looked up at what I thought were the streetlights and was absolutely bombarded by two rows of these rainbow halos (one on each side of the road) in a long stretch down the darkened road ahead of me – it was so beautiful and I was so overwhelmed I actually drove my vehicle off the road a little as I took in this breathtaking sight.  Because I drove off the road, which was a little scary, I remember exactly where I was when I did this.  It was in front of a farm, kind of coincidentally called the ‘Valleyview Little Animal Farm’ (where they have little animals, including sheep…I’ll leave the reader to ponder that one).

At the time, however, I did not realize the significance of what I was seeing where I was seeing it.  I just drove on – in a state of euphoria, taking in the beauty of these rainbow halos everywhere I looked.  It was so beautiful and I was so overcome I made the decision not to go straight home – I didn’t want it to end.  I ended up driving around the larger neighbourhood for at least half an hour, when, gently, the experience of seeing these beautiful halos started to pass.  So, I finally drove home and told my husband what happened.

I carried on with my life – never forgetting what I had seen, but not really knowing whether it was a ‘natural’ occurrence or a ‘supernatural’ one (as I had already been experiencing some pretty amazing things).  It wasn’t until Christmas Day over a year later that I realized the fullness of the experience. 

It was one of those Christmasses that many of you who are parents will sympathize with, where one or more of your children wakes up and is really sick.  Why does this always seem to happen on days that matter?!  But it does…Anyway, because one of our children was quite sick we had to make the decision for one of us to stay home with the child.  My husband volunteered and I dressed up the rest of the children and proceeded to Christmas mass with them by myself.  I was sad and disappointed that we would not be able to go to church, on one of the most beautiful celebration days in the church, together, as a family.

I drove back along the same path that Christmas morning to the same church where I have gone for many years – and also where I had made that first confession.  I noticed something I had not noticed since the incident.  As I got to that same stretch where I had seen the most amazing rows of rainbow lights, brilliantly lighting up either side of the road, (where in my euphoria I had driven off the road) I realized that there are absolutely no streetlights whatsoever along that entire length of the road!

That Christmas morning I was given the uplifting gift of knowing that those lights I had seen were not of the ‘natural’ variety and they became gift all over again that Christmas morning, as I drove to the church in sadness.  Instead of being sad, however, the realization filled my heart with joy all over again, and I had and have always kept, a most secret smile of joy, gratitude and amazement at the beautiful array of halos that lit up for me the night that I first repented…

It was then, truly, that I knew the truth of the scripture, The Parable of the Lost Sheep:

Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it?  When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices.  And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbours, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’  Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”  Luke 15:3-7, NRSV, Catholic Edition

When I told my spiritual director of this experience he just smiled and said that God often works this way.  Often His manifestations are done subtly, gently, so as to blend in with our natural experience.  An aunt of mine calls it a ‘wink wink’ experience.  Others I know describe it as synchronicity.  Others don’t really pay attention to these unusual moments and write them off as coincidence.  Whatever you call it, I believe each of you has had and will have your own ‘wink winks’.  All we need to do is pay attention and ponder their meaning more deeply.  When we do so, we open ourselves more fully to waiting grace and the action of God who so eagerly awaits to rejoice over His sheep that was lost.

This Easter season, may you more fully participate in the resurrection of Jesus, and experience directly the waiting arms of the God who created you.

Karen

Read Full Post »

Jesus!

As promised I share with you today an older dream that is a very precious experience of Jesus.  It is one that made me realize what empty rattling tin cups we are without God.  I share it to bear witness to the truth of the spiritual life, the existence of God and His Son, Jesus and to allow it to be a beacon of light.  I do so in service to you, so that in the busyness of your life, you may not overlook the fulfillment and beauty that is to be found in the sincere search for God.  This experience is one my Spiritual Director has called a night vision:

 

Explosion of Love

Explosion of Love

DECEMBER 14, 2002

I dreamed I was lying in my bed sleeping (which I was!).  All of a sudden Jesus (in spirit form) came in the door of my bedroom.  He was see-through and clear, but with a definite shape:  as if I was seeing a spirit like a ghost, but He was completely clear – not one spot.  I knew Him instantly with great joy and spontaneous recognition and I said to Him, “Jesus!!!”

I looked up as He came to hover over me and He opened His arms (still in spirit form, but I knew what He was doing) and when He did I felt the most huge and overwhelming explosion of love come from His chest and envelop and invade me.  I strained absolutely every fibre of my being upward toward Him and was begging Him to take me higher into union with Him.  I felt all of my being rise and merge with Him in such love as I’ve never seen or felt on this earth.

Everything on this earth is a poor substitute that we try to fill ourselves with.  The love was an absolutely indescribable feeling – human words cannot say – just an agonizing aagghhh!  I’m not sure how long it lasted or if I spoke after this.  As the Presence lifted there was left at the end of the dream a very large, but very thin gold cross hovering over me.  I stared at it.  It was shiny and jeweled – very beautiful and delicate looking.

When I awoke the feeling of immense love and awe stayed with me and I felt ‘Oh My God!’  I am so much deeper in love with Jesus now…He is the most beautiful Thing I have ever seen!!! This dream/vision left me feeling that I am just an empty rattling tin cup that can only be filled by Him and that Love…

As I contemplated the dream and the cross that was left over me, I pondered its meaning and prepared myself for a cross to bear that would be coming.  It was a series of painful events that lasted and culminated January 2.  In the worst of my pain January 2nd, at the height of what I now realize was a very fruitful, purifying spiritual trial, one of my children brought me a beautiful six-sided Sacred Heart medallion.  The picture on the medallion was of Jesus pointing to His Sacred Heart (it was almost like a sign to remind me of this dream!) It was in the same silver as my necklace, complete with a ring to put it on the chain and it perfectly matched my chain and other medallions.  It comforted me immediately and I put it on with the others.  They found it in an area I had just vacuumed and I know it did not belong to anyone else in the house. 

I have found that this is just one of the ways that God consoles, even in the process of the purifying trials we go through – He does not leave you alone on the hard journey of holiness, as many experiences I will be sharing with you in future will show…

Karen

Read Full Post »

My Angel Story

Angel of God

Angel of God

This is a true story of a supernatural experience I had in St. Patrick’s R.C. Church, Fallowfield on December 12, 1999, and one I had published in “Angels on Earth” in 2003.  It was two days after the sudden and unexpected death of my paternal Grandmother,  whom I was so very close to.  

Two days earlier, December 10, 1999, I had been on the phone with the uncle she lived with going over Christmas plans.  A few hours later he called back to say she had passed away…

Because she had been ill with the flu, we had put off getting together for lunch over the previous few weeks.  With Christmas coming the lunch kept getting tucked away in the back of my mind.  Her sudden death left me reeling, and without the benefit of faith the way I have it now, I mourned the thought that I would never see her again.

My husband let me go to church alone that Sunday, knowing I needed it.  I cried throughout the entire mass.  After it was over I stayed in my corner as everyone piled out of the church.  As I kneeled, I buried my head in my arms so no one would see me crying.  Finally, after the priest had tidied up the hymn books in preparation for the next mass, I was left in the church alone.

I was absolutely bereft.  I kept internally kicking myself for not having rescheduled that lunch sooner.  ‘Now I’m never going to see her again! I’m never going to forgive myself!’ I thought.  For almost an hour I silently chided myself.  Finally, with emotion spent, I looked up at the large cross with Jesus on it that hangs near the side entrance of our church.  As I looked up at it I thought ‘I’m not going home.  I’m going to stay here all day.  Guy can watch the children.’

As soon as I had this thought a very unusual, and what I can only describe as supernatural, thing happened.  A blinding light came down from the top of the cross, over me and into me and as it did I was blinded, but shown interiorly the most amazing creative power and energy – it was the most beautiful, effervescent, bubbling, wonderful, creative energy.  With it I felt that one could do anything – amazing creative things.  With it also came an unmistakable awareness and I said to myself with a gasp ‘we each have this inside of us – we just don’t know it!’  Then a voice spoke to me, but I did not hear it with my ears.  It is only since that I have learned it is called inner locution.  Regardless, the voice said – and I’ll never forget it:

“Take this and speak of it at your Grandmother’s funeral.

Offer it as a service to others.”

That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.  Immediately after these words were spoken an unseen something, which I have come since to believe was an angel, lifted me up from my seat and walked me out to my car – to go home to my husband and family who needed me.  I was absolutely not under my own power and was in the blinded state until I was in the parking lot, approaching my vehicle.  It is amazing to me to this day how the incident seemed to blend into my day as I drove home.  It was a gradual dawning over the next few weeks that I had experienced something supernatural…

In the end, I did speak at my Grandmother’s funeral and I related my angel story,  to offer it in service to the many family members there who were going to miss her so much.  But it was the words I closed my eulogy with that have left me wondering.  I’m quite certain they weren’t from me, and I believe they must have been part of the supernatural grace God granted me in the church that day.  Were they words from Him?  Were they words from my Grandmother?  I don’t think I can say, but I will never forget them either:

 “Live your lives!

Love! Learn! 

 And I will be with you each and every day. Amen.”

I realize now that God had great mercy and compassion for me that day, and in my anguish sent an angel with words to encourage and inspire, not just me, but all of those who would hear my story.  I was told to ‘offer it as a service to others’ and so I have.  And maybe, just maybe, there are others, grieving, who are reading this story today who really need to hear what my angel had to say.

 

Read Full Post »