In my many meetings with my Spiritual Director I often share the sense of ‘walking in the dark’ with a lamp lighting the next few steps in this journey of witness for God.
Though I have experienced some of the most amazing, beautiful things of the spirit realm over the years, I still have been left with the pondering that Mary must have felt when the Angel brought her the news of the Annunciation. “What does it all mean?”
I have been trying to follow diligently in the spirit of Mary – accepting all that God has imparted, but despite it all – and my certainty of the truth of God and life after death, I’m still left pondering as Mary did what the full picture was – why is this happening to me and where is it all going?
My Director has answered this query by stating that he thinks despite the overwhelming number of spiritual experiences that I have been graced with over the past 17 years, they are but the preamble to the real work. What that will look like only posterity will show. When he says this I am always a little amazed. My theological dream binder has over 300 typed pages of supernatural & divine dreams, words & experiences. I often wonder if it is the ‘show’ and that when I am finished disseminating “that which I have received” my work will be done – but he doesn’t think so…
I guess I ponder this as well because God has been much quieter the past year or so – for me at least. This feeling of not being able to guess at God’s work or plan – or set the pace for it either – is depicted eerily in the next dream I will share today – one where God showed me an overall schematic of His plan through me – and that so far it is indeed only a ‘first pass’ and that much is still to be filled in and downloaded – but that I cannot control the pace of it at all:
Sunday, April 27, 2008
I had a dream where I was with some people at a house. I saw one tincture bottle of homeopathic medicine. I knew it was the same as the one the doctor gave me. I put the dosage of drops on my tongue. I was then lead to something by a woman. Then I saw a large page/wall/tablet with an outline of written characters n it – written by/from God. The characters and symbols were unlike any letters that I know, with curling sweeps and flourishes, but I knew they were letters/a message and that they were God’s words.
The whole wall/tablet was full of a ‘first pass’ or outline of the message (like when an old fashioned printer goes back and forth over each line, initially delivering only the first pass to each letter, and then with each subsequent stroke the rest of each letter is filled in with more ink to produce the whole, fully legible line of characters/words).
I went up to the wall/outline and with power in my right index finger I would point to a line and the direction of printing and some delivered power (an angel figured here somehow) would come and each line of the lengthy message would be filled in. I could not control the speed of delivery though. Even though I pointed my finger at each line with fervour and power, the stream of God’s writing came at a pre-determined pace, filling in the unusual looking characters/words as it went – delivering the fullness of the lines. Some words/characters were SO full and elaborate that the filling in/shading of these words would require a pause – while the full message was being ‘downloaded’.
I started to speak publicly of this message from God, like an innocent, straight-forward child. I suffered almost instant labelling as a ‘wacko’, but it did not deter me in the slightest, as my mind, my heart, my soul, my eyes and my tongue were only focused on my God and His Will.
I awoke and promised the Father again that none of it matters (ridicule, what people will say, etc) and that I care only about doing His work.
How true this is as here I am – despite what others might think or say about me. If everything I have been experiencing and sharing turns out to be a ‘first pass’, well then I have to say that even this first pass is pretty compelling. The overall message of all my dreams, experiences and words can be summed up tidily with the message:
I AM REAL. I LOVE YOU. I DESIRE YOUR GOOD, BUT ONLY YOU CAN CHOOSE GOOD OVER EVIL. COME OUT NOW FROM DARKNESS AND SEEK MY WILL AND MY FACE. REPENT!!! TIME IS RUNNING OUT.”
These words above are my words, but they are a succinct synopsis of all that God has been saying through me for the past 17 years. And I sense very much that the warnings are becoming more urgent, much like they did for King Belshazzar in Daniel 5.
More clarification regarding the above dream came my way days later:
May 6, 2008
Dreamt I was standing in the hallway of a house and suddenly labour pains came over me. I was not pregnant, but I was somehow psychically attuned to feeling the labour pains of another (I was sharing in the labour pains). I knew a certain period was starting. I opened the door to see and entered the street.
I was then sent to walk down the streets. I had a long staff/rod in my left hand and it and my hand were raised up by the power of another – not my own. I could not lower my arm – it was held up for me by the power of another.
There was a long cut timber log which was levitated in the air behind me on the street – at about the same height as the top of the staff. It followed me as I started to march down the main street as a manifest sign of the supernatural origin of the power that held up my arm and propelled me into the streets. The vertical end of the log faced my back and it lay horizontally in the air.
People were on the sides of the street and started to turn in shock, wonder & amazement at this obviously supernatural event as I was walking. The log followed me in the air. It was a supernatural, visible manifestation/sign that accompanied me on the walk. As I started to walk and people began to gape in awe, fear, confusion and wonder, someone jumped from the sidewalk into the street and aggressively tried to knock down the log from the air. It fell back and down off its course/trajectory for a moment and then righted itself and went back to the exact same position with unseen supernatural power. I think my arm may have been lowered as this happened, but it was raised again as the log returned. The person who had struck it fell away in fear. Then I continued to walk forward as before.
As I did the most powerful and profound outpouring of the Almighty God entered me and lay me back in the air as in prior dreams (but not to this degree!!!) and two words came out of me very loudly and boldly:
YAHWEH SPEAKS!”
And then I waited, poised to listen for God’s words. Ideas came into my head as to what words would come but I wrote nothing as I knew the difference between the ideas and words of my own head and the sound of God’s voice speaking, and I would write nothing that was of me.
I was filled to the brim in the most overflowing, powerful and complete way to date with the spirit of God and I lay back in the air levitated thus; tingling, prickling, vibrating with the fullness of Power, listening and ready to write and speak.
It wasn’t much longer until I received words to pass along:
June 12, 2008
I remembered a short dream that I had mid-night. I woke briefly and fell back asleep but did not get up to record it. In the morning I remembered it hazily, but the words pretty much exactly, and wondered if I should record it so much later because it had God’s words in it. My priest directors felt I should and I like to err on the side of caution so:
I dreamt I was starting to tell people what God was doing with/through me and explained how I am being used as a ‘channel/prophet’.
Then as I spoke this, God’s spirit came over me, in me and levitated me again in the dream and one sentence was spoken quite urgently though me from God:
REPENT!!! JUDGEMENT IS AT YOUR DOOR!”
I don’t know if I, or rather, He, could state it any more plainly.
Karen
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The Deliverance Ne†work 