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In my many meetings with my Spiritual Director I often share the sense of ‘walking in the dark’ with a lamp lighting the next few steps in this journey of witness for God.

Though I have experienced some of the most amazing, beautiful things of the spirit realm over the years, I still have been left with the pondering that Mary must have felt when the Angel brought her the news of the Annunciation. “What does it all mean?”

I have been trying to follow diligently in the spirit of Mary – accepting all that God has imparted, but despite it all – and my certainty of the truth of God and life after death, I’m still left pondering as Mary did what the full picture was – why is this happening to me and where is it all going?

My Director has answered this query by stating that he thinks despite the overwhelming number of spiritual experiences that I have been graced with over the past 17 years, they are but the preamble to the real work.  What that will look like only posterity will show.  When he says this I am always a little amazed.  My theological dream binder has over 300 typed pages of supernatural & divine dreams, words & experiences.  I often wonder if it is the ‘show’ and that when I am finished disseminating “that which I have received” my work will be done – but he doesn’t think so…

I guess I ponder this as well because God has been much quieter the past year or so – for me at least.  This feeling of not being able to guess at God’s work or plan – or set the pace for it either – is depicted eerily in the next dream I will share today – one where God showed me an overall schematic of His plan through me – and that so far it is indeed only a ‘first pass’ and that much is still to be filled in and downloaded – but that I cannot control the pace of it at all:

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

I had a dream where I was with some people at a house.  I saw one tincture bottle of homeopathic medicine.  I knew it was the same as the one the doctor gave me.  I put the dosage of drops on my tongue.  I was then lead to something by a woman.  Then I saw a large page/wall/tablet with an outline of written characters n it – written by/from God.  The characters and symbols were unlike any letters that I know, with curling sweeps and flourishes, but I knew they were letters/a message and that they were God’s words.

The whole wall/tablet was full of a ‘first pass’ or outline of the message (like when an old fashioned printer goes back and forth over each line, initially delivering only the first pass to each letter, and then with each subsequent stroke the rest of each letter is filled in with more ink to produce the whole, fully legible line of characters/words).

I went up to the wall/outline and with power in my right index finger I would point to a line and the direction of printing and some delivered power (an angel figured here somehow) would come and each line of the lengthy message would be filled in.  I could not control the speed of delivery though.  Even though I pointed my finger at each line with fervour and power, the stream of God’s writing came at a pre-determined pace, filling in the unusual looking characters/words as it went – delivering the fullness of the lines.  Some words/characters were SO full and elaborate that the filling in/shading of these words would require a pause – while the full message was being ‘downloaded’.

I started to speak publicly of this message from God, like an innocent, straight-forward child.  I suffered almost instant labelling as a ‘wacko’, but it did not deter me in the slightest, as my mind, my heart, my soul, my eyes and my tongue were only focused on my God and His Will.

I awoke and promised the Father again that none of it matters (ridicule, what people will say, etc) and that I care only about doing His work.

How true this is as here I am – despite what others might think or say about me.  If everything I have been experiencing and sharing turns out to be a ‘first pass’, well then I have to say that even this first pass is pretty compelling.  The overall message of all my dreams, experiences and words can be summed up tidily with the message:


These words above are my words, but they are a succinct synopsis of all that God has been saying through me for the past 17 years.  And I sense very much that the warnings are becoming more urgent, much like they did for King Belshazzar in Daniel 5.

More clarification regarding the above dream came my way days later:

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May 6, 2008

Dreamt I was standing in the hallway of a house and suddenly labour pains came over me.  I was not pregnant, but I was somehow psychically attuned to feeling the labour pains of another (I was sharing in the labour pains).  I knew a certain period was starting. I opened the door to see and entered the street.

I was then sent to walk down the streets.  I had a long staff/rod in my left hand and it and my hand were raised up by the power of another – not my own.  I could not lower my arm – it was held up for me by the power of another.

There was a long cut timber log which was levitated in the air behind me on the street – at about the same height as the top of the staff.  It followed me as I started to march down the main street as a manifest sign of the supernatural origin of the power that held up my arm and propelled me into the streets.  The vertical end of the log faced my back and it lay horizontally in the air.

People were on the sides of the street and started to turn in shock, wonder & amazement at this obviously supernatural event as I was walking.  The log followed me in the air.  It was a supernatural, visible manifestation/sign that accompanied me on the walk.  As I started to walk and people began to gape in awe, fear, confusion and wonder, someone jumped from the sidewalk into the street and aggressively tried to knock down the log from the air.  It fell back and down off its course/trajectory for a moment and then righted itself and went back to the exact same position with unseen supernatural power.  I think my arm may have been lowered as this happened, but it was raised again as the log returned.  The person who had struck it fell away in fear.  Then I continued to walk forward as before.

As I did the most powerful and profound outpouring of the Almighty God entered me and lay me back in the air as in prior dreams (but not to this degree!!!) and two words came out of me very loudly and boldly:


And then I waited, poised to listen for God’s words.  Ideas came into my head as to what words would come but I wrote nothing as I knew the difference between the ideas and words of my own head and the sound of God’s voice speaking, and I would write nothing that was of me.

I was filled to the brim in the most overflowing, powerful and complete way to date with the spirit of God and I lay back in the air levitated thus; tingling, prickling, vibrating with the fullness of Power, listening and ready to write and speak.

It wasn’t much longer until I received words to pass along:

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June 12, 2008

I remembered a short dream that I had mid-night.  I woke briefly and fell back asleep but did not get up to record it.  In the morning I remembered it hazily, but the words pretty much exactly, and wondered if I should record it so much later because it had God’s words in it.  My priest directors felt I should and I like to err on the side of caution so:

I dreamt I was starting to tell people what God was doing with/through me and explained how I am being used as a ‘channel/prophet’.

Then as I spoke this, God’s spirit came over me, in me and levitated me again in the dream and one sentence was spoken quite urgently though me from God:


I don’t know if I, or rather, He, could state it any more plainly.



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It has been quite a few years now since I have started sharing the divine inspirations and words I have received.  I have taken this journey quite seriously and have wished in earnest for all those with ears to hear to take my words seriously.  If I could but download the spiritual experiences I have received to you so that you could experience them as I have experienced them(!)…but the best I can do is re-live them here with the odd illustration in the hopes that you will see and hear what I have seen and heard.

It has been 17 years since I personally began this profound spiritual journey and I feel so blessed to be sitting in the place I am, knowing that the things of the Bible are real…what peace…what consolation.  As the world around us gets busier, ruder, crueler, scarier and just downright deadly, it gives me great consolation to know so very well that this life is not the end of the story.

But with all the work I have done sharing profound truthful things here, in my documentary and the one to come, in my women’s group – Sister†Hood, and most especially in the deep, prolonged prayer life of pleading with The Father for EVERYONE!!!, I still feel like I haven’t done near enough to help people wake up and look at the spiritual life;  Hence my title today – IS ANYONE LISTENING?!!!

Many of the words I read at various sites around the world where others are receiving divine inspirations, echo with a resonance of the warnings I have also personally received.  WE MUST CHANGE – AND NOW!!!

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I know it isn’t popular to be a voice in the wilderness that says “it is not okay to just live and let live…and for each to do whatever they think is right“.  SIN is a very real, serious word…and almost no-one is taking it seriously.  The Ten Commandments aren’t just the title of a fantastic 1956 Cecil B. De Mille movie starring Charleton Heston.  They are a law which God gave us to help us live fantastic lives!

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The Ten Commandments

In summation, their law is the Law of Love.  And not just love of self…but love of self and neighbour, which amounts to perfection for oneself and beauty for one’s neighbour.  Think about it.  How do various people make you feel in your day to day lives?  Don’t you feel the best around the ones who treat you with respect, kindness, consideration, care, patience, and love?  Are you also finding that this kind of person is harder and harder to find out there?

Well, I have one piece of advice for that.  Start by BEING one – no matter what they do around you.  It is the right thing to do and oftentimes the only thing that helps your neighbour to start to be a better person.  So many people are broken, bitter, hard, lonely, unkind and jaded.  Their frozen hearts are in need of melting. So let me segue here and state that I made the icon of my women’s group a Domino for a reason.  The reason is that we are in great need of warm, loving hearts willing to touch other hearts.  We need chain reactions – Domino chain reactions.  The only way to do that is to become a Domino yourself.  BE the agent of change you wish to see in the world.  Pray for the strength for yourself and others to do this in this very difficult, darkening world.  This is the KEY to change. Wishing for it while you continue to act the way others sometimes treat you will do nothing…except add to the mess.

Lately there have been quite a few messages from God the Father Himself on a website I follow and believe to be authentic, though each has to discern for himself.  As He has been saying to and through me, our God is saying similar things through the messenger at http://www.holylove.org, with a recent post as follows:

Once again, I see a Great Flame that I (Maureen) have come to know as the Heart of God the Father. He says: “I am the Lord God, Creator of all things great and small. It is I Who created the earth and its atmosphere. It is I Who call the clouds to pass before the sun. It is I Who create every insect under the earth – every fish that swims in the sea. For the sake of My Love for all of My Creation – especially mankind – I come here* today to speak once again.”

“I have given you Commandments to live, by My Children. I have encapsulated all of the Commandments in one easy concept – Holy Love. Most of you fail to listen. The greatest error in the world today is that man does not recognize or care about what is good and what is evil. This attitude negates sin in all its forms and creates a false conscience – an apt description of the heart of the world. Yet when I come, or send My Son or His Holy Mother to speak, few there are who will listen. Then there are those who think they are living in My Divine Will but have made gods of their own will and their own opinions. These are the ones most difficult to convert. Their sanctimony is their undoing.”

“With a sincere heart return to Me, O Man of Earth. Allow Me to be your Sovereign. I desire your welfare – your salvation. Obey My Commandments. I am slow to anger – rich in Mercy. My Justice must come, however.” July 18, 2017 – God the Father to messenger Maureen Sweeney-Kyle at the Ecumenical Shrine and Ministry of Holy Love at Maranatha Spring & Shrine in Ohio/www.holylove.org

I have my own warning to share from a dream I received on April 21, 2008 (with a dream of its interpretation a year later in April, 2009).  I offer it in hopes that it will inspire YOU to listen, harken, change, and become the DOMINO of great change in the world around you, so that together we might make this WORLD the beautiful place it is intended to be, while we each work to make ourselves the most beautiful SELF we were meant to be – not just for our lives here, but for the eternity that we will each spend upon our deaths.

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April 21, 2008

Dreamt I saw a beautiful man I had seen in my class before many times in school I had been at and I was highly attracted to him.  He began to show his love for me and brought me to a scene to show me something.

I was shown an area/field that had maze-like tall grasses or corn stalks (I think the latter).  A man (Father) said to me that he could no longer allow time to search for poor, helpless Piglet anymore, as it was time to bring forward the buffalo (from of old), so that the lion would not starve – have something to feed on.

Of course the little piglet lost in the corn would be trampled.  I then saw Piglet’s little head as he wandered about confused – trying to find his way out of these tall corn rows.  I started earnestly beckoning to the lost one to get him to come out of the corn maze quickly!!!  As I knew the stampede/danger/trampling/devouring time was coming.  He could hear my voice and started to head to the edge for safety.

Then the man/Father gave some command and I saw the buffalo come stampeding first.  First there was one, then two, then a herd, and they began to tear off from this ‘of old’ place where they’d been kept/held and they started to charge wildly – chaotic directions – beginning to trample the corn field.

I was on a high wood wall/fence that was at the edge of the field – opposite direction from whence the stampede was let forth.  I saw a character named Chase (whose name means ‘exceptionally skilled huntsman’) hidden in the tree/bush next to the fence and encouraged him to climb on the fence and then follow me – as I now saw the release of the bears after the buffalo had stampeded through and the bears would destroy hungrily.

I saw the first bear and it was large and powerful – in fact I only saw one bear and it sought to catch and tear apart and consume anyone it could find in the corn and also on the fence.

I saw a tall pole at the long end of this fence.  It was white, but had no flag at the top.  I think it may have had a pointed top.  I saw a young girl trying to shimmy up the pole to heights for safety to escape the bear.

I leapt onto the pole and started to shimmy up and told her to take my hand and then I would/started to pull her up with me to a safe height to escape the bear. She was a young girl who appeared six (the number of man).  All the while I was issuing commands for my family and others to follow me and I was going to help pull them up too, as this tall white pole was the ONLY place of height/safety to escape the devouring bear.

Not only was it an urgent flee, but the quick climb of the pole would require strength to climb and endurance to stay there – holding fast while the bear devoured all around.

I woke and was reflecting on this dream and then may have fallen back asleep for I had a flash image of Mary, Mother of God appearing over this cornfield, and she hovered there as if on a cloud pedestal.

I dreamt an interpretation of the aforementioned dream a year later, in Easter Week, April, 2009 and recorded it April 17, 2009:

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I dreamt an interpretation of the dream from April 21, 2008 from the ‘bear scene’ onwards.  It was this:

The bear was Russia.  Piglet was the lost souls – wandering in corn – unable to even see the way out – that is why Mary appeared hovering over the field – they could look up and see her.  She was there to coax them out of their lost state.

The fence represented the climb to true safety which was the white pole.  It was shown this white pole was the church and made known that it bore no flag at the top as a normal flagpole would have as it was for no one nation, but for all – universal.

The only place of safety with the devouring attack of the bear (Russia) was going to be this flagpole and souls could not afford to stay ‘on the fence’ anymore.  They must cling to the pole/church – even though this will be difficult, and there will not be much rest in doing so.

I have only one question for you:





Part of the reason I have found it difficult to find the time to write on this little blog for God lately, is due to the investment of time filming my first documentary in service to the call to witness to our Christian faith.

In my last writing, I shared this initial documentary in segments.  It was also screened in Ottawa on December 8, 2016 and was well received to a larger audience than I had expected.  This tells me people are thirsting to hear of the things of God to help them in their daily walk of faith – through times that seem to be extra hard and dry for many lately…myself included.

To that end, Charlie (my young, talented reporter friend) & I have started filming our next documentary and have decided to launch a Youtube show to share it in short manageable segments, with another screening in Ottawa when it is finished. Our new show is called Cross†Talk, and we have decided to focus on ‘the dark side‘ for the initial series, “The Demonic Interviews”.  This series, which will be amalgamated into our second documentary, will be an expose of sorts on Satan, demons and the occult.  It will include not only the many dream experiences of Satan and demons that God has allowed me to experience, but also my experience of Hell, and the witness of several other Christians.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic church, we are all called to witness to our Christian faith with our lives, as a natural outcome of our Christian Baptism:

The baptized have become “living stones” to be “built into a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood.”74 By Baptism they share in the priesthood of Christ, in his prophetic and royal mission. They are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, that [they] may declare the wonderful deeds of him who called [them] out of darkness into his marvelous light.”75 Baptism gives a share in the common priesthood of all believers. 1268


For me this was very strikingly confirmed by a supernatural experience at mass February 1, 2008 where I saw Jesus’ right arm came out from the Host during Eucharistic Adoration and felt it rest on my head.  Then I heard him speak to me a brief shout command:

GO!!!  Preach unto the nations!”

It was a powerful confirmation of my call to ministry which has been exercised in a more direct way these past eight years or so.  This call is no different today than it was in the times of the first disciples.  Witness the example of St. Paul:

Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy scriptures, the gospel concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh and was declared to be Son of God with power according to the spirit of holiness by resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles for the sake of his name, including yourselves who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.” Holy Bible, NRSV

Occasionally I’ve experienced spiritual dream experiences of some of these great witnesses to the truths of our faith and will share them here today for your discernment.  They in their own times and own ways served as heroic witnesses to their deep relationship with the hidden God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Almost everyone knows of the witness of Mother Teresa in our own time, who was canonized St. Teresa of Calcutta in 2016; or the long history of witness of Sister Lucia of Fatima, whose cause for beatification just passed the first stage this past week (while her co-visionaries at Fatima, Francisco & Jacinta Marto, were beatified by St. John Paul II on a Fatima anniversary, May 13, 2000).  In his role as head of the Catholic Church,  Pope John Paul II witnessed with his life, service and office to the truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Then there is this little witness by a Catholic wife and mother…and the testimony of countless others who are using new and varied methods to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

How desperately the world needs those willing to carry on the call to witness to the truth of our faith.  Pope Francis indeed is calling all the faithful to use every method to fulfill their call to evangelization;  a call to literally go out into the streets and minister to the people where they are.  This is a call Mother Teresa fulfilled by serving the poor in the streets of Calcutta, and this simple burning desire to serve others and Jesus resulted in her sainthood. And what else is the essence of sainthood but the practice of love – putting one step in front of the other in service to the needs of those around you?  The truth is that we are all called to sainthood – and all called to witness.  So…with over 7.5 billion people on the planet, the world could really use your sainthood…and your witness.

Yet many feel that recent years feel more like the scourging at the pillar than sainthood.  But it is precisely this stripping and scourging that peels away the layers of sin and worldly attachment and leads to the beautiful core of love in a uniquely crafted human persona known as you.  Holiness.  Sainthood.  Witness. A recent re-post by Janet Klasson of the Pelianito Journal Blog that came at the same time as this writing illustrates my point:

My beloved, do not imagine that the journey of my faithful ones is so different from the journey of their Lord. On the contrary, I AM the way and all paths lead through the cross. Remember, my children, that each cross is tailored to the soul. Each is unique, as unique as the soul that bears it. The only similarity in all crosses is that I am with you all in your passion. You need only turn to me and all the strength I had in my passion will be made available to you. This is especially true when one is being persecuted for my sake. Would I abandon that poor soul? Would not the Father see me when he looks at him? When I say that your reward will be great in heaven, do not imagine that I am being trite. Those who suffer on my behalf will be eternally grateful for what that suffering has purchased for them. Indeed, it will seem a far greater reward than the soul feels he deserved for it. In comparison, the trial will seem a small thing—even a large trial. My children, you cannot possibly imagine with what magnanimity your infinitely generous God can act. Be therefore consoled. All that happens in this life is as a passing shadow, over in the blink of an eye. Endure all with faith, fortitude, and great trust. I am with you through it all. Shalom.” Jesus to the messenger, Janet in alleged message from https://pelianitoblog.wordpress.com/

So to aid you in your continued climb and call to holiness, sainthood & witness I share the following:

March 4, 2008

I experienced a very brief dream of St. Paul with words spoken as I rose from sleep:

The world tests you so that your strength might be revealed in Christ Jesus.”

For me this helped illuminate the scourging and stripping…for the purposes of being a fantastic witness for our God, while attaining the goal for ourselves at the same time – sainthood, holiness and the wholeness that we were originally created for as God’s creation in His image…the image of love.  I am sure there are many images of love who have faithfully walked with faith and witness and thereby illuminated their little corner of the world with the light of heaven, yet remained hidden and unknown to most of the world – even in posterity.  And yet, occasionally, God makes some of them into bigger lampstands, so that His work, His love and their witness might be of broader reach.  Such is the case with Sister Lucia of Fatima, whose life is getting more attention now than ever since her death on February 13, 2005 – especially in this the 100th anniversary of the apparitions of Fatima.

I can’t say I fully understood the following dream of Sister Lucia from 2008 at the time, but lately I feel like it is starting to make a lot more sense…and perhaps will more so as time goes on.  I leave this to the discernment of the reader:

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I had a long drawn out dream that started with a chase scene.  I was helping children escape from evil forces who sought to catch and kill them. I was helping people flee, procuring hiding spots etc.  Then I came upon a large room set up for students with circular tables set up in a large circle around the edges of the room.  There were math games/questions to test/occupy students while something was being set up – like an exposition.  I was asked a question at the second table – to describe the property of something.

Then I was in a different location.  It seemed an outdoor alcove on a street or something and no-one was around me at all.  I was secluded in a recessed corner of a building on the quiet end  of a street.  I had been given a tape recording and an orange duotang or folder of Sister Lucia (Fatima visionary) speaking.  Reference was made to the fact that the world did not really have at this time a great religious ‘beacon’ like Mother Teresa, etc. to look up to.

Then I saw like a vignette moving picture of Sister Lucia speaking on a page and she said it was time/part of her mission for her words to be spread in talks to the world – something about her speaking to the world.  She and her words were to start moving through the world.  I saw the light of her candle flicker.  It suggested the start of movement of her candle as this announcing/talking of hers was to go throughout the world – from place to place.

Indeed her life, mission and witness go forth in bigger waves of light as time goes on from the lampstand God continues to make of Sister Lucia.  We are each called to be light in this world of darkness by our witness and our committed lives as Christians.  This means staying the course on the uphill climb and trusting God completely along the way.  In His Mercy He prunes, refines and strengthens us for His purposes and our good.  If we allow Him, then He can truly use us to shine the light on the path to aid our fellow men – by literally making us into beacons of light that shine in a world steeped in darkness.

May this little beloved song from my childhood be for you a simple reminder of this call, which in the end is peace, beauty and harmony with our Creator, as we shine with His Light:

Jesus bids us shine with a clear, pure light,
Like a little candle burning in the night;
In this world of darkness, we must shine,
You in your small corner, and I in mine.
Jesus bids us shine, first of all for Him;
Well He sees and knows it if our light is dim;
He looks down from heaven, sees us shine,
You in your small corner, and I in mine.
Jesus bids us shine, then, for all around
Many kinds of darkness in this world abound:
Sin, and want, and sorrow—we must shine,
You in your small corner, and I in mine.
Jesus bids us shine, as we work for Him,
Bringing those that wander from the paths of sin;
He will ever help us, if we shine,
You in your small corner, and I in mine



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In my last writing I announced that God had me join forces with a young reporter who was interested in filming aspects of my spiritual journey.

We finally finished filming after 9 months and launched our Documentary, Messages from Heaven on Dec. 8th at a well received launch party.  I am finally getting around to sharing the Documentary in segments here on this site.

My prayer is that this is a source of inspiration, healing, consolation and witness for you to the truths of the spiritual life.  Enjoy  & Happy New Year!

Part 1: https://youtu.be/eT-b1E8CpSg

Part 2: https://youtu.be/UPXxNn4GABA

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I am aware with the publication of this writing that I have forevermore thrown my hat in the ring of the Abortion Debate.  Not a thing to do lightly, to say the least, as I know the debate is heated on both sides.  However, I have come to challenge humanity to examine the truth that there is a third side that underlies these two camps – the side of truth.

And lest some may try to quickly pre-judge my ability to weigh in on this very serious subject, I take the difficult stand in stating that I know firsthand what I am talking about.  So let’s get that out of the way right at the beginning, with my admission that I speak from firsthand knowledge.

Before I get into my short personal testimony regarding what I came to realize was the most serious error of my life, I first of all want to present my case for this third side, in the attempt to get people to focus less on the debate and just examine the truth of the choice.

In essence I would like to help point people’s attention to what is important – that of what the choice really is – ie. the truth.  For some time now, this vigorous debate has polarized into two camps who feel their view is correct. But the truth is that both sides actually just present people’s opinions as to whether the same choice is right or wrong.  The pro-life camp believes that abortion is murder – which of course it is – I would like to challenge anyone to prove that it isn’t actually killing a developing human being.  The pro-choice side basically says – I want to have the choice to end the life of my child.  What is needed, is to look very, very clearly at the choice.

The truth, which is obscured by this cloud of debate, is that, apart from living in a Communist country where choice may be severely limited, we in democratic nations have abundant freedom to choose – and choose many, many things about our individual lives each day.    So what about the choice itself?  I guess my whole point with this writing is to say to everyone out there, stop for a moment and look with eyes, hearts and minds wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open….with abortion, what is it exactly that one is choosing?!

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As free will beings, created by God – and I know a lot of people still don’t believe that, but hey I tossed my hat in the ring on that point a long time ago and will til I die – we make countless choices each day. And what every good parent and teacher knows and tries to impart, is that there are consequences for choices. Children and students are constantly told to “Make good choices!”  So what happens when we turn into adults?  Why are we then told the complete opposite – that it is perfectly okay to make a bad choice if you feel you have a reason for it. But here’s the rub.  Abortion has become something that has been left to the discernment of each individual person as to whether it is right or wrong, and politicians and governments have given people the right to choose abortion in many places. But what about God’s law?  The law of love?

Let’s examine the truth.  And here is where I will weigh in with my personal testimony.  People who know me, know I have six wonderful, beautiful, talented, unique, accomplished children.  They also know what a wonderful, bustling, zany family unit we are and many remark that they have never seen such closeness in a family. The facts are though, that my family is not complete.  Due to three miscarriages and one abortion, four children are missing from the daily scene of our family life.  I didn’t choose or control the miscarriages, so although I grieved them, they definitely didn’t affect me the same way as the loss of the child I chose to kill.

I know I am using very blunt language here, but someone has to be blunt. Humanity is in too much of a cloud of confusion and political correctness to hear anything well without some bluntness.  So the truth in my life is that one of my wonderful, beautiful, talented, unique, accomplished children is not here on this planet contributing to the human race and the enrichment of our own family life (not to mention the consequence of the complete loss of their own life on this planet), because I chose to kill it…

There is no other way to say this.  It is the truth.

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I wanted to give each of you who has chosen to read this far a little pause above to try to let sink in what I just said.  I, single-handedly, chose to kill my own child. Truth.  So let’s get into the other truth that surrounds the abortion debate. Many women feel that abortion is their only choice for so many reasons – fear, illness, finances, threats, rape, embarrassment, selfishness; the list is as endless as the individual circumstances that surround each woman who makes that choice.

In my case, I didn’t have an entirely ideal family of origin life – though I know my parents did the best they could. My mother became ill with a severe lifelong illness when I was like, four or five, and is still severely ill to this day – some 50 years later. My father, though he stayed with my mother, of course suffered profoundly at the loss of his spouse as he knew and expected it.  And so he worked.  A lot.  I am not faulting him, because he is wonderful in many ways, but the truth is that because of these circumstances, I had no real mother and my father was rarely home. When he was he was just tired and didn’t really have time to listen to two kids.  So I grew up seeking solace in other people and that, for a young woman, included boyfriends.

Is this sounding familiar to some of you yet?  At the time of my difficult decision, I, like many young women out there, found myself with a boyfriend who said ‘get rid of it or I will leave you’.  Not ideal.  So between extreme fear, the feeling that I had no-one to turn to, and embarrassment and mortification of what potential course my life would take if ‘I kept it‘, I made the only decision I thought I could.

However, things definitely took a nasty turn for the worse after that choice – and I hear this isn’t uncommon for women.  I descended into a mini-hell of anxiety disorder that didn’t resolve itself until many years later.  Truly, I only found I came to full healing after I got myself into church again…btw.  Now, many, many years later, I have been completely anxiety free for over 25 years and with the hindsight of 20/20 came to realize in truth, just what I had done.

The complete story of the horror I suffered afterwards would take too long to share here.  But beyond the physical consequences, which I don’t have full ability to see (what would my child be doing right now?…what skills, talents, impact on humanity has been lost?…what grandchildren will I never know?…the list is endless!), there are spiritual consequences to violating a pretty standard commandment – Thou Shalt Not Kill.  I can’t say I have full insight into those consequences either – but God has shown me so much about the truth of the spiritual life, that I can’t tell you how profoundly grateful I am that God allows us to say sorry and provides a means of spiritual reconciliation as well.

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So here’s more truth.  Abortion also has spiritual consequences. According to the Bible and The Ten Commandments, it falls under ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’… murder.  But hey, people don’t want to hear that anymore.  They feel justified, for whatever reason, in their choice. But the truth is that it is one of the more serious offenses against love – the act of killing another person – of literally robbing them of their life.  And I also feel there is no more serious crime than a mother killing her own child – and I committed it.

So, I get it.  I have been there.  I have been in those shoes.  I don’t speak from some pulpit with judgement.  I speak with knowledge, insight, experience and hindsight.  And I still don’t judge.  But the reality is that there is a Judge at the end of our lives.  That also is Truth.  And so what I also know firsthand, is that this Judge is also Mercy itself.  I have personally experienced this reconciliation, healing & Mercy.

The bottom line is that I committed the worst sin I figure any human being can commit.  True, I was younger and didn’t have ideal support in the midst of one of the most difficult circumstances of my life, and didn’t really have the emotional maturity and discernment to see clearly what I was really choosing.  But the facts are that I did it.  And not only that, at the time I felt relief after I did!  I was ‘free’…or so I thought.  Life could go back to ‘normal’.  The truth is we are never free from our choices or our consequences.

So today, I challenge all of you to hear with grace-inspired ears the truth I am presenting to you.  I feel there is absolutely no way around the fact that abortion is murder.  There is also the fact that we live in a time when people are free to choose just about anything.  What is needed is serious reflection and discernment as to what our choices truly ARE:

What is it one is choosing when they choose abortion?

That is the question.  I invite all to examine their conscience and see if it convinces you in the same manner as this writing.

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Project Rachel – Hope After Abortion

So how does one go forward?  Just as there are consequences to actions, mercifully there are avenues to reconciliation and healing.  The primary responsibility for this also lies with the individual person.  No one can lead you to it (except God) and make you choose it.  That free will thing…

So of utmost importance for our spiritual and physical well being is the necessity of seeking spiritual reconciliation with God.  It is the beginning of true healing on all levels.  Seek out a minister, priest, church, or God himself in your prayer life.  Get started on the path of reconciliation with God.  He understands and knows us far better than we know ourselves.  And I also speak from firsthand knowledge when I say I know what I a talking about when I speak about a path to reconciliation.  I have experienced it!  Personally, being brought into the fold of the Catholic church, I was able to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  It is essentially the physical manifestation to us of the spiritual truth of God’s forgiveness when we come to him seeking forgiveness.  Again – we choose.  God forces no-one.  Not only this, but my life is witness to the untold blessings God bestows even when you have had to come back from a serious error – He loves!  He blesses!  He is so very, very overjoyed at a soul that ‘repents’.  I cannot even convey to you the Love that God is!  We are His children!  He cannot bear the loss of any one of us – just like you couldn’t bear the loss of one of your own children.

It is true that it may take some time before you realize the necessity of pursuing this spiritual reconciliation.  It took me many, many years.  However it is better to realize, even at your last breath, than to never realize it at all.  To facilitate this, there are many avenues one can pursue on the path to healing.  A good one that was recommended to me recently by my Spiritual Director is Project Rachel – Hope After Abortion.  I encourage you to make the choice to pursue healing for yourself. But, like most of the choices of our life, only you can choose it.  I have also learned that counselling can be very beneficial, but the deepest, fullest, most encompassing and necessary healing is the relationship with God.  And to be completely free, I have learned there are specific ‘directed’ prayers one can say to liberate oneself from all the spiritual consequences of abortion.  These will be added to the prayers section on this website in the near future.

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I believe that the world and humanity hang on the edge of a very dangerous precipice due to so many free will choices that are outside of love – God’s will for us.  The chasm between humanity and God has widened to its deepest since the beginning of time.  Time is running out.  Our free will choices have consequences. Abortion is one of the most dire of those choices and is reaping us untold, unseen and unprecedented consequences that many of us do not understand.  But all I can do is speak the truth and point the way.  Each of you must choose to heal the breach between yourself and your loving Father, Creator God.  There is still time to make a difference!

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For those who are Catholic I highly encourage you to pick up your Rosaries for the The Rosary of the Unborn.  Prayer can and will make a difference, but it is ever, ever so urgent that those with ears to listen pray!  I leave you today with Heaven’s own words and exhortations below.  Join the side of truth, goodness and love NOW.  Oh my but time is ever so short if we are to steer the path of the human race from greater destruction.  I pray for your good choices, healing, reconciliation and the call to pray in the gap for those who don’t.  Every single one of us IS the difference.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

October 7, 2016
Feast of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary – 3:00 P.M. Service


(This Message was given in multiple parts over several days.)

Our Lady comes all in white. She has glittering lights around her. She is framed in the Rosary of the Unborn and is holding the Rosary of the Unborn. She says: “Praise be to Jesus.”

“Today, dear children, as you pray your rosaries, pray for the victory of good over evil. The upcoming election in this country (The U.S.A.) will affect all people and all nations, as the new president will set policies in place which will carry worldwide implications. There is an undercurrent of evil trying to influence the outcome of this political race. Threats and promises have been made. Laws have been broken and whole institutions have been compromised by bad politics. Ambition in some hearts has taken on epic proportions.”

“The Trojan Horse in all of this is compromised Truth. People unwittingly invest their support in disingenuous political figures who will never deliver on their false promises. If these are the ones to assume leadership, much in the way of prosperity and freedom will be lost.”

“The struggle has been set between good and evil. You cannot have two diametrically opposed forms of government. One will have to take power. Do not be led by compromised Truth, but by the Light of Truth itself.”

“In your hands, dear children, you hold the weapon that can expose evil and destroy Satan’s evil plans. It is your rosary. With the power of your loving rosaries, Satan will not be able to complete his plans for the destruction of the world and he will be defeated. Much of what the dragon plans to destroy will be protected. You yourselves will find a path of light through the darkness, but you must pray.”

“The reason so much of this Ministry* and the Messages** themselves are focused on the protection of life in the womb is that legal acceptance of abortion has replaced love of God and neighbor in hearts with love of self. Fulfillment of God’s Commandments is no longer a concern. Mankind’s free-will choices are the main priority. Protection of the right to lead sinful lives has permeated the highest court system.”

“All of this has obscured the difference between good and evil in hearts. This is why the conscience of the world is so confused that it cannot distinguish honesty from dishonesty in leadership. This is why poor leadership is an alternative and is even considered in the election upcoming in this country.”

“Grave concessions have been made to evil. Now it is more Satan leading this country than God. Dear children, we must courageously persevere in prayer. Prayer is the ballast holding this nation in some frail form of righteousness.”

“Dear children, I have called you here today to encourage your devotion to the Rosary of the Unborn. You must believe in the difference your prayers are making in the world all around you. The rupture of the First Seal (Rev 6:1-2) does not make your prayers ineffective, but stronger.”

“These days you have dangers all around you – terrorism and a great hurricane encroaching upon your borders. There are hidden dangers in hearts and many dishonest agendas in the minds of certain politicians. If you continue to pray your Rosary of the Unborn, perhaps Jesus will allow the fog of confusion to be lifted from the heart of the world so that all can see that abortion is the sin that catapults the world towards destruction.”

“I come to you to make you stronger and more resolute in putting an end to abortion. Great and manifold graces would flood the world if you would listen. The future would be changed and you would be at peace. God’s Will would rule hearts.”

Dear children, today I promise to take all of your concerns to Heaven with Me and place them in the Heart of My Son. Do not fear for any grace – for I am the Mother of Grace.”

“Dear children, it is My Joy to spend these short moments with you during these apparitions; but in Heaven, I will be with each of you always – if you earn your salvation through Holy Love. I am looking forward to that.”

“Today, I’m blessing you with My Blessing of Holy Love.

* The ecumenical Ministry of Holy and Divine Love at Maranatha Spring and Shrine.
** The Messages of Holy and Divine Love at Maranatha Spring and Shrine.

Purported message from Mary to visionary Maureen Sweeney-Kyle at http://www.holylove.org

After I published this October 10th, I received another message in my email from a different blog I follow and believe to be authentic.  I decided to update this writing October 11th to include the following, quite sobering message – this time allegedly from our Saviour, Jesus.  I was so surprised to see the parallel theme to the writing I had already published, but I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Like I have said, God knows it all and is so very far ahead of us as a good Parent – Thank God!:

Be tireless workers in the sweet harvest of souls….
Psalm 9:15 The nations have sunk in the pit that they made; in the net that they hid has their own foot been caught.

Beloved, there is indeed much more to come. For those people and nations that do not repent of their evil ways, sorrow and woe will fall upon them. They will reap a bitter harvest, exactly what they have sown. But do not despair, my little ones, for unless the sinner feels the pain of his own sin, his chance for repentance lessens. A good parent does not shield his child from consequences, but certainly his vigilance and care for that child increases. When the child returns contrite in spirit, the parent is waiting with arms outstretched. So it is with the great and many sinners of this age. Their bitter harvest will sour their own stomachs. But when they return to me contrite in spirit, I will be waiting with outstretched arms. Pray for their conversion, dear children. Be tireless workers in the sweet harvest of souls.




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There is a new Country song out lately that resonates with me due to the underlying spiritual issue it depicts – that of the overwhelming noise we in the modern world are surrounded by daily.

In Kenny Chesney’s song, “Noise” is a fundamental lesson and truth.  We very rarely experience silence anymore. Yet the soul that thirsts and hungers for God, and wholeheartedly follows the path of spiritual perfection and growth in holiness, automatically seeks out more silence and less noise.  In fact, to those who know them, these souls also become an oasis of silence and peace of spirit that can be tangibly sensed.  They seem to have less interior ‘noise’ and can bring that peace and silence to every interaction.  I have heard that God dwells and speaks quietly in that place of silence.  One goal of the spiritual life is to cultivate that interior and exterior place of silence to invite God in, and create the space and open demeanour to listen to His small, still quiet voice…which sometimes echoes like thunder when we create the space in our hearts to listen…

I have experienced both in my spiritual journey – words of quiet perfect form as I rose from sleep, which summed up succinctly a dream experience of our God, but also the loud and clear immense, powerful, booming Voice of Talking Thunder of God the Father, as when He spoke to me many years ago saying,


I have said before on this website that I shall never forget that experience, or how each of His words boomed like talking thunder.  Each word was like the footstep of a Giant on the earth!  When God speaks – be it whisper or shout – one listens!  I took to heart the ‘shout’ command I received at church many years ago as well – this time from Jesus:

preach unto the nations


So for 16 years now I haven’t just been listening; I have been dutifully recording and slowly sharing that which I have seen and heard. Moreover, I have all the while been responding in the reciprocal relationship of love that then flourishes with our God, who is Love.

So many people wonder at my faith, but either don’t investigate for themselves the possibility that the spiritual truths of the Bible are real, or don’t care to find out – that is until some life experience gently, or sometimes brusquely, pushes them into the Quest.  I think part of the reason it takes people that wake-up-call moment, is that we are surrounded by far too much noise and distraction.  So many things and voices clamour for our constant attention…and so many of them are so less worthy of our time than the time that would be well spent in seeking God.

Don’t get me wrong.  I know the demands of daily life all too well!  As a mom of six kids, two dogs & two cats, who works outside the home (in a school full of noisy children(!)), runs a part time business and a women’s spiritual support group, while keeping up the demands of home, marriage & friendships, I too am surrounded by busyness and noise.  However, I crave and carve out silence.  It is those moments apart – in prayer, reflection and retreat that give me the serenity, peace and strength to do all I do (and it also helps to get regular rest & exercise to care for the tent that houses our soul!).


The key to the Quest is in seeking the Pearl of Great Price.  Matthew 13:45-46 speaks of this parable of Jesus:

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” (NIV)

The value of closing off as much as possible the noise of your life to embark on the Quest for this Pearl is illustrated in several dreams God saw fit to send me in March of 2008:

March 12, 2008 – Three dreams

First I dreamt that I walked down the basement stairs of my home in Heart’s Desire.  As I approached the bottom landing I was picked up and carried by a woman to an unfinished portion of the basement where a circle of people were meeting.  As I was being carried to this circle, I was held with such love and was repeatedly given sweet and tender kisses all over my face.  I wondered what the meeting was about and why I was being brought to it.  When I awoke I pondered this dream and the fact that it was the ‘unfinished’ portion of the basement that I was brought to.

Then I fell back asleep and dreamed a second dream:


I dreamt that I was then in the finished portion of the basement.  I stood talking to many people from my circle of life.  They seemed standing in a line for something.  I spoke to those who would listen in this line about the spiritual life and the necessity to seek the things of God.  I told them to seek and they would find.  I told them if they truly desired peace they would find it.  I asked, though, if they truly sought it in truth:

Do you truly seek it?  Then you will have it.”

I saw Dara (a character in the dream whose name means ‘pearl’) in particular listening to me as well as others – men included.



These two dreams had followed a previous one from March 7, 2008 where just one silent word rose to consciousness as I emerged from sleep that night.  It was “Shekinah, Shechinah, or Schechinah (Hebrew: שְׁכִינָה‎‎).  which, according to Wikipedia, is the English transliteration of a Hebrew noun meaning dwelling or settling, and denotes the dwelling or settling of the divine presence of God and his cosmic glory.  

I had pondered “Shekinah” as I did not know what it meant.  I was still pondering it in the middle of the night after the above two dreams on March 12th.  In my journal I had then recorded the following:

I lay awake after the first two dreams (of three) I have recorded of earlier this morning, pondering God, pondering Shekinah – hungering with every fibre of my spirit, mind and body for Divine indwelling.  Then, a still, small voice said:

Dispose yourself to receive the High and Mighty Lord.”

I immediately responded:

I am so disposed.”

I began to pray with even greater fervour for the Father to possess me completely with His Divine Love.  Then the voice said again:

Exposing yourself to this mass will require that you in turn expose yourself” (I sensed this meant to others) (and surprise…here I am doing just that on this website)…

I acquiesced (agreed).  I prayed, and offered myself to the Father in a prayer too intimate to repeat to othersbut essentially I prayed:

No human heart is disposed to receive my heart as completely as You.  Together we shall create love for all eternity.”

As I prayed to God our Father, He very gently and slowly infused me with His attributes:  patience, kindness, love, tenderness, gentleness, mercy, compassion, purity, wisdom, love and His holiness.  I just but said yes!  And so I ponder still the meaning of Shekinah…perhaps others can shed light as to the full meaning of this experience.

However, it didn’t end there.  I was given to understand this:

There are no walls in the Heart of God that prevent Him from giving Himself to us, only the walls in the hearts of humans that make them unable to fully possess the living God.  Amidst such a tender experience as I have detailed above, I was saddened at the inability of human hearts to be disposed to receive the Father (who is LOVE) completely because of the walls that are put up against Him.  They shut themselves out of the deepest recesses of love…

And after I fell back asleep on this very busy spiritual night of March 12, 2008, I dreamed a final third dream:

I dreamt I saw myself and the Father, lying together in the most sweet and tender state of loving embrace, and a voice said:

Thus the soul finds itself, already here on earth, in the loving state it will enjoy for all eternity.”

So I ask you, what are you waiting for?  Start the Quest, and turn off the noise!






Thank you all for your patience over the past couple of months!  Part of the reason my last post was a Lenten retreat with Mark Mallett, was due to the fact that I have been super busy starting a Christian women’s support group!

I guess you could say this is one of the fruits of my Lenten journey…but one that has been brewing in my heart and with my directors for many years.

For anyone in Ottawa interested in a wonderful, supportive, healing hub of like-minded Catholic/Christian women, please check out the ‘Hood!  Our website is http://www.sisterhood.live.

In addition, as God is always way ahead of me (thank God!), He very unexpectedly dropped a reporter in my lap who heard of my spiritual experiences and the new Sister†Hood, and wanted to do a special ‘human interest’ series.  So thanks to God and Charlie Senack, the first piece of the series, which I will share here as they come available, is a short video on our Sister†Hood.  Take a quick peek and pass the word!

What is Sister†Hood and What do They do?