Posts Tagged ‘Catholic’

There is a feeling among many in Christian circles that it is the ‘last hour’ and that some pretty big changes are coming.   This feeling is partly a reflection of concern over the levels of evil, sin, despair and chaos in our world.  However, it is also a response to many purported ‘visionaries’ such as ‘Jennifer’  (especially newly released messages I found after preparing this writing) in our time with words of divine warning.

Indeed, change is constant – inevitable.  However, many roll along with the constant drum of life without giving much thought to where it is all going, or that it will all end one day.  Few are those who stop to ponder what awaits at the end of life here on earth.  Many are the distractions and amusements that guarantee we do not have time to stop and think about it.  Who wants to think about death?

For those who take the time to stop and consider the serious questions, though, the rewards are boundless.  Cultivating an appreciation for life, for good, for faith, for God and for neighbour – facing the inevitability of death head on and choosing to live with love in the meantime – is a surefire way to truly live.   The choice to love is with us in each and every moment of every day.  That’s the good news!  Failure in one moment to act with love is inevitably replaced by another opportunity to practice virtue and choose good;  replaced by another moment in which one can say sorry;  replaced by another moment when one can make amends.  And another, and another…Moment after moment pass through our lives like a kaleidoscope – weaving our individual histories.

The bad news is that it is so easy to watch the pretty colours twisting and turning in the kaleidoscope of our lives without reflection on the moments when our choices were not so good;  when our choices were not loving;  when our choices hurt others;  when our choices were downright sinful.  The bad news is that sooner or later the turn of the kaleidoscope is one click away from the last colour shifting into place.  Are you ready for that last frame?

I know that this is a tough reflection.  Brutal in fact.  I have to say though, that I would rather be a little brutal here, while you’re reading this, and have you a little more prepared for your encounter with death and the life to come, than have you blithely marching through the hourglass of your life and have that moment catch you unprepared.  Personally, this reflection fell into place in the kaleidoscope of my life in a more dramatic way because of a vivid dream recently.  I already go to confession – that common (or not so common!) Catholic practice – regularly, but the second dream I will share gave me a little impetus to get myself in there again.  I, personally, do not want the last frame of pretty colour to catch me off guard.

Before I share this theological dream experience, I share with you an older dream that happened to be the next in line for the chronological sharing of disconcerting ‘warning’ type dreams (which will be done under the State of Chaos series)  I have been experiencing over the past several years.  I believe these two, joined together, will give a little impetus to each of you individually to examine your consciences and truly assess your preparedness for your accounting to God of your spiritual journey on earth – your life.


Dreamt I was in my childhood home with an old friend from high school.  (Her name means ‘man’).  We heard there was a reunion dance coming in the next few days.  It was last minute and a surprise – very unexpected.

I was eager to go.  I was sitting at the kitchen table talking to my friend – ‘man’, when another couple called to see if I was going.  They wanted my husband and I to go, as well as my friend.  The friends’ names in the dream mean ‘From the Royal Fortress God has been gracious’.  I also wanted everyone to go together to this reunion.  As we were discussing this we heard a noise outside.  At this point I noticed a man was standing in the kitchen with the oven door open.

We all went outside to investigate the noise.  We saw that a special garbage truck had been ordered to remove a huge amount of garbage from my neighbour’s house.  We were very surprised – it was the middle of the night.  This was not a regular garbage pick up.  It had been ordered by a special company to make a special run – in the middle of the night – to remove this garbage.  The truck was piled high after it left my neighbour’s house.  Then we saw the truck drive around the neighbourhood and stop at another neighbour’s house and make a special stop to pick up their garbage, as ordered by a very unusual special order in a sudden way in the middle of the night – catching everyone unprepared.

As the friend (‘man’) and I  wondered at this point why this was being done the dream ended with the following sentence being spoken:

WOE to unrepentant cities!”

Needless to say this dream woke me with quite a start!  Woe!  Unrepentant cities?  It does not take a genius to figure out that this is not good.  So I ask you:  Are you one of those ‘unrepentant cities’?  One does not necessarily have to be Catholic to repent of unloving choices – although I personally believe there are unparalleled graces in the confessional.  Believe deeply that your choices, good and bad, have great meaning and consequence!  Stop now and listen to the uneasiness in your heart that may be lurking underneath your busyness and say sorry to God.  Then pray for the ones you know you have wronged.  It is a powerful way to make amends, even if you cannot personally heal the hurt of the other.

As is customary for me when sitting down to prepare a writing, I begin with prayer.  Especially if I am going to open my bible and choose a passage that ties into the spiritual dream experiences I plan to share.  Today was no different.  To my surprise the first page I opened to had the following passage from John smack in the middle:

Very truly I tell you, the hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.  For just as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself; and he has given him authority to execute judgement, because he is the Son of Man.  Do not be astonished at this; for the hour is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and will come out – those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.  (John 5:  25-29 -Holy Bible NRSV Catholic Edition)

This dream also called to mind the famous words of Jesus from Matthew 24:

But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.  For as the days of Noah were so will be the coming of the Son of Man.  For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and they knew nothing until the flood came and swept them all away, so too will be the coming of the Son of Man.  Then two will be in the field,; one will be taken and one will be left.  Two women will be grinding meal together; one will be taken and one will be left.  Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.  But understand this:  if the owner of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into.  Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.”  (Matthew 24:  36-44 – Holy Bible NRSV Catholic Edition)


For behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the LORD of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch. (Malachi 4:1  – Holy Bible – Webster’s Bible Translation)

And so, without further ado I offer for your discernment a most recent dream experience of God:

FRIDAY MAY 14, 2010 APPROX 4:30 A.M.

I dreamt I was in my parents’ ensuite bathroom in my childhood home.  I was standing in it with a friend.  She wanted to show me a particular new moon which was going to shine bright in the sky at this time – she said that it was going to be able to be seen with the naked eye.  She handed me a round magnifying glass to look through the bathroom window.  She said to follow a pattern of stars to find it in the sky, which was full of billowing dark clouds.

I took the magnifying glass and looked carefully through the window – it was a little harder than looking through a regular window as it was one of those clouded or mottled bathroom windows – you know how they are usually manufactured that way for privacy. Anyway as I looked I saw a light shine in the sky that I thought was this moon she spoke of, but my attention then was immediately drawn powerfully to the billowing dark clouds.

I could see they were taking on a form or shape.  I could see one hand form – the right one first – and then the second – the left.  They were God’s hands.  I recognized them immediately with great joy.  They faced me/the earth and they were extended together toward the earth.  I could only see the hands and a little of each forearm.  They were formed out of dark cloud and they all of a sudden opened and closed in a beckoning, come forth (come here or come) motion.

As soon as they did this the vision changed and God’s hands disappeared and the still dark clouds parted.  As this happened Jesus leapt forth from their midst – very eagerly – coming (almost running!) on/in the clouds – as if He was made of or part of the clouds.  He was so eager!  So swift!  He leapt forth with great speed and eagerness as if He had been being held back, but no more.  He was dressed in a long robe and his long, flowing, straight hair swung free.

This part of the dream was so vivid I have to say that it appeared as if He almost ran out of the clouds toward the earth as if He had been being held back by some force and now that God’s hands had done what they did it was His moment to spring free/forth to the earth.  He had (by the way He appeared) been most eagerly poised and ready for this moment, and now that it had come, He sprang forth with such pent-up energy and swiftness it was almost like a spring shot that He darted forth toward the earth!

Then after He leapt from the clouds toward the earth, He was immediately followed by a succession of the original Apostles.  I do not know in which order they leapt forth as I saw them following Jesus, but I KNEW it was the first apostles of Jesus.  I only knew the last one as he leapt out of the clouds also (they also all seemed formed of these dark clouds).  The last one to leap forth was Peter.  As soon as he leapt forth from the clouds toward the earth and was in our sky he/his face turned to stone/rock for some reason.

I turned back excitedly to my friend and told her that I had seen much more than the new brightly shining moon.  “I saw God’s hands!”  I was so overjoyed.  My heart leapt as well at the vision I had seen…

I leave you with the bible passage that this dream vision immediately made me think of.  May this reflection be a source of spiritual encouragement and warning for you, in this your time of grace:

Then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory.  Then he will send out the angels, and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of heaven…”But about that day or hour no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.  Beware, keep alert; for you do not know when the time will come.  It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his slaves in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch.  Therefore, keep awake – for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly.  And what I say to you I say to all:  Keep awake.”


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There seems to be a convergence of Catholic prophetic voices with regard to the times we find ourselves in – both with regard to the state of the world, and the state of the church.  One of these prophetic voices is Mark Mallett, a Catholic evangelist in western Canada, whose own blog has been ‘sounding an alarm’ for some time now.

As I am now a regular follower of his writings, I kind of marvel at the timing and convergence of the sharing of my ‘satanic’ experiences (especially the one I will share today and the new series –  The State of Chaos – that will commence with my next posting)  and Mark’s latest publishings.  Of interest particularly is a recent webcast entitled We Were Warned  (11 minutes).

After you take a well-spent eleven minutes to watch the above video, you will appreciate the following dream I experienced on November 8, 2008.  To it, I add another dream from January 29, 2009 which includes a message from the late Pope, Pope John Paul II.  The experiences I share today will prime us for the unfolding of several perhaps prophetic dream experiences that may in all seriousness have to do with the future of the church and the world.  This series will be called “The State of Chaos” and its ushering in will end the series we are in – The Face of Satan – though these two series are most likely, in fact, different pictures of the same face.  Read with me:


The Bastion at Glenveagh Castle by PhotographersDirect.com

 Dreamt I was an undercover operative in a major battle (the spiritual one!).  It had to do with the King (Jesus) and a plot against his life.  Those of us who were good and on the King’s side were noticing that our memories weren’t quite as good.  One older man/soldier came up to me in the King’s castle (the church) and said he couldn’t remember things so well.

Another of the soldiers in the battle, who sat to my left, said he knew how the evil people were doing it – affecting us who were truly in the King’s service.  I saw a plate of food prepared by the staff in the King’s castle.  These were supposed to be good and on our side, but in fact they were hidden traitors (freemasons in the church?).  They were on the side of evil and in our midst in the King’s castle.  As I saw this plate of food being prepared for us, the soldier to my left said it was the meals we would eat/be fed/are eating as part of the King’s knights/soldiers.  He referred to what the evil ‘disguised-as-good’ staff were doing as “Lucky Number Slevin” (which is a recently released movie – plot available on Wikipedia).

After he told me this information I realized OH My God(!) – we are being very, very, very slowly and subtly poisoned through the food that whoever prepares the King’s food for the soldiers is – for us, his knights (let me state here emphatically that I do not refer to our current Pope, Pope Benedict, but rather perhaps darker hidden evil forces encamped around him).  I realized the horror of this – that those who were actually kitchen staff/chefs in our own camp of the King were traitors for the evil side and worked against us in this very covert way.  I left the area to go warn the others in my camp.

I went to tell someone in particular who I knew I could trust, but as I did, I was overheard by a woman character in the dream that I thought I could trust (an oriental lady named Sharon).  I realized she was a spy and was spying on us in this King’s camp/side/battle/castle.  She ran to tell the leader of the evil side that I had discovered this poisoning circumstance and then every effort was made to try and stop me from delivering my message.  I was speaking to my Father at some point here.

I ran to my camp to tell them what I had ‘seen’/discovered and as I came into my castle/camp of the King, it changed to the house of my maternal grandmother (realized the symbolism as I was typing this – Mary?).  I saw the good knights and servants of the King in the dining room – we were advancing/preparing for battle against the enemy coming against us – Russians – who were in the living room (didn’t Mark address this very thing in the above video?).  Just as the clash was going to occur in the open meeting area between the dining and living room (church vs world?) I managed to stop the battle (I wish!).  With my voice and witness I somehow enabled both sides to sit down and listen to me and what I knew.

We ended up sitting in a circle of chairs and couches etc. in the living area.  The Russians were mostly to my right and the King’s camp was to my left and I began to exhort them to peace and to recognize the truth that was this:  I said:

Our enemy is not each other!  We battle against forces unseen!  They are hideous and they are very strong!  It is against them in which we must unite!  Our fight is against them – not each other!!!”

Then I told the room of Satan and his demons that I have seen in my dreams (and now you, my readers have seen them too!) and I asked those in the room – particularly the Russians:

Have you not, even one of you, also seen these evil unseen demons that I speak of and know I speak the truth?!!!”

Then a young man on the Russian side, I believe, who said he was a video game designer of ‘Cosmos’ (don’t ask me why), said he had seen one of the demons coming up a hillside and all of a sudden it revealed its’ face to him and it was ‘lava’ (don’t ask me why) – a face of fire and lava.

Then I told him of the satanic creatures I have seen in my dreams – evil demons like giant monsters with scaly skin like lizards and a gigantic set of jaws sharper and stronger than sharks that gnash and clamp with great sharpness and strength, their victims…

Then it occurred to me to invoke the protection of the Precious Blood of Jesus over us all – Russians included, in order to protect us from the evil agents of the real battle – Satan and his demons.  I began to do this as I saw a demon or demons in the air just outside the door of the living room at the front of the house – a door created somehow (by God?)  As I started to say this invocation in prayer, however, God’s spirit came on me and in me and filled me in a most overpowering way and levitated me again.  I spoke God’s words levitated thus – very loudly and powerfully – in front of all gathered, including the Russians, but I don’t remember what I spoke (perhaps this is a good time to remind you of a long message from God already published on this site).

Then to my left I saw a lady stand up as a witness (is it me, another of the prophetic voices of this time or all of us?).  She stood in this circle of people and was one in the King’s camp of people.  She related such a heartfelt story of truth and love!  I forget details, but it had to do with someone she loved dying of cancer (the human race!) and being saved and redeemed (by Jesus of course!).  Her story was quite compelling.  I turned to my right and saw a young, bearded Russian that I thought still wasn’t softening his heart at her witness and I started to exhort again that he take the girl’s witness very seriously, and then I saw him start to cry and he said he had already listened to her and taken her seriously and he said:

 She has softened my heart.”

And then I think it was his character in the dream (the Russian) who said he had had his own vision and I saw it as he described it (or it may have been mine as this third party negotiator/mitigator).  The scene shown next was this:

In advance I saw the head evil agent/man of Satan who was the Chief/Head on the evil side.  I saw him come up against the King’s castle/camp to try to fulfill the intended evil plan to kill the King and his followers (Christians), but his plan did not succeed.  He was seen coming and as he tried to ascend the walls of the fortress (castle), particularly at the Bastion window, he was pushed back – out a window – by the King’s army and he fell to his death on the ground far below and his dead body was seen in advance in this vision and it was broken in a most disfiguring way.  He looked like the actor Jeff Bridges.  He lay on his back as I looked down on him.  Both his legs were broken and twisted at very unnatural angles and he lay in blood, brokenness and death and most of all – defeat!!!

As this ‘advance’ vision was being related in the dream I was witnessing it as a third party and watched the scene unfold myself first-hand.  Then as I lay looking at the dead body of the Head of the evil side a very strange thing happened and this was the most disconcerting moment of the entire dream:  I then saw the body lying in a doorway.  As I looked at his dead body lying thus, all of a sudden the dead body sat up and looked straight at me and Satan in (!) the body said to me, directly, looking right at me, speaking in the most sarcastic, sneering and derisive tone (verbatim):

YOU saw it all before it happened, didn’t you?!”  (N.B.  I emphasize the ‘you’ and ‘didn’t you’ because these words, in particular, spoken by Satan, were said in a particularly sneering, slow emphasized way!)

I awoke with a most disconcerted, alarmed start and recorded the above immediately.

I leave the discernment of my unusual dreams to others far more knowledgeable than I.  As I have said many times before, I do not understand why I am experiencing many of the things I am.  However, I have done what I thought I should and in fact have been advised to do by my spiritual director in speaking about them and sharing them publicly. 

And now I share with you the short dream which features a message from the late Pope John Paul II.  I believe these two dreams fit together to paint a very clear warning:


I had a short dream which woke me.  I was in a room or building of some sort.  I saw a scene in front of me from a hidden vantage point (I was like an undercover operative).  I saw in front of me two men sitting in a white oval bathtub half full of water.  Facing me the man on the left was white and naked and was also an undercover operative present on the scene (on my/the good side), while I was hidden.  He sat in the water and looked up at me as he knew I was like a silent camera who could see this.  Beside him in the tub sat a man who I believe was clothed and looked black/dark (the one on the left was white, the one on the right as I faced them both, was dark).  The dark man did not look up.  I did not see his face and he did not know we both (the white man in the tub and I) knew who he was and had him completely under our observation.

The white man then performed a signal/sign while looking up at me.  He raised both his arms out to the side as if on a cross and performed a slight shrug that indicated a redundant question (like it was the obvious truth).  The question/statement that was silently communicated to me regarding the dark man he sat next to was this:

Is he not the murderer?”

Then Pope John Paul II distinctly spoke the following exhortation sentence verbatim, which ended the dream (though I did not see him I knew it was him that spoke these words):


I have to say at this point that, as a new Catholic, I did not know the meaning of Sunday Vigil.  One of my directors advises that the vigil mass refers to the Saturday evening mass for Sunday.  Always a vigil mass speaks of the night before or sometimes we call it the mass of anticipation for Sunday.

Our former Pope’s message from this dream is clear – we are not to allow the fall of this Mass in the coming days – days which indeed may be a divinely permitted State of Chaos.  This coming series on this website will be the sharing of some highly troubling dreams that concern the coming state of the church, and the world.  We have, by the many prophetic voices Mark refers to in the above webcast, been warned.  Perhaps my dreams are another voice on the watchtower of that warning…


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The truth about hell

I should imagine it’s not every day that one is given a little ‘foretaste’ of Hell.  I should also imagine you don’t hear from your friends in your everyday conversations that they were graced by God with a little glimpse of it…

Well, I am as surprised as you to be telling you today that this friend is going to share with you just that:  a foretaste of what it is like to be in Hell.  It was quite a horrible experience – even in the dream state.  I cried for some time after I woke from the following, very recent dream experience I share with you today.  It also prompted me to write the following across the top of the page I recorded the dream on:


Before I share this extraordinary experience with you, I wish to acknowledge that I know what a difficult topic this is for most people.  It is something most people don’t wish to even think about, let alone have someone ask them to hear about…But I only offer this writing and God-given experience as testimony to the already plain testimony of the Christian Faith and truths of the Bible…I am not really saying anything new, but only adding my own personal testimony to the truth of this horrible place.  However, it is something that no-one needs to fear, for God wishes everyone to join Him at their death and extends every grace through their life, and at the moment of each person’s death, to help them choose Him and Heaven.  The testimony of the writings of St. Faustina echo this, and I share an excerpt from them today as well.  Firstly though, I wish for us to look at what the Catechism of the Catholic Church has to say about this place called Hell:

 The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity.  Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, ‘eternal fire’.  The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

The affirmations of Sacred Scripture and the teachings of the Church on the subject of hell are a call to the responsibility incumbent upon man to make use of his freedom in view of his eternal destiny.  They are at the same time an urgent call to conversion:  ‘Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few:

“Since we know neither the day nor the hour, we should follow the advice of the Lord and watch constantly so that, when the single course of our earthly life is completed, we may merit to enter with him into the marriage feast and be numbered among the blessed, and not, like the wicked and slothful servants, be ordered to depart into the eternal fire, into the outer darkness where ‘men will weep and gnash their teeth’.

God predestines no one to go to hell; for this, a wilful turning away from God (a mortal sin) is necessary, and persistence in it until the end.  In the Eucharistic Liturgy and in the daily prayers of her faithful, the Church implores the mercy of God, who does not want ‘any to perish, but all to come to repentance.’Catechism of the Catholic Church- Popular and Definitive Edition; 1035-1037

Next we turn to some information from one of the alleged visionaries of Medjugorje:



Interview with Mirjana Dragicevic, By Fr. Tomislav Vlasic

Medjugorje, January 10, 1983

T: Mirjana, we have not seen each other for some time, and I would like you to tell me about the apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and especially with the events that are connected to you.

M: I have seen the Blessed Virgin Mary for eighteen months now, and feel I know Her very well. I feel she loves me with Her Motherly love, and so I have been able to ask Her about anything I would like to know. I’ve asked her to explain some things about Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell that were not clear to me. For example, I asked Her how God can be so unmerciful as to throw people into Hell, to suffer forever. I thought: If a person commits a crime and goes to jail, he stays there for a while and then is forgiven – but to Hell, forever? She told me that souls who go to Hell have ceased thinking favorably of God – have cursed Him, more and more. So they’ve already become a part of Hell, and choose not to be delivered from it.

Then she told me that there are levels in Purgatory: Levels close to Hell and higher and higher toward Heaven. Most people, she said, think many souls are released from Purgatory into Heaven on All Saints’ Day, but most souls are taken into Heaven on Christmas Day.

T: Did you ask why God allows Hell?

M: No, I did not. But afterward I had a discussion with my aunt, who told me how merciful God is. So I said I would ask the Madonna how God could……

T: According to what you’ve said, then; It’s simple as this: People who oppose God on earth just continue their existence after death, and oppose God in Hell?

M: Really, I thought if a person goes to Hell….Don’t people pray for their salvation? Could God be so unmerciful as not to hear their prayers? Then the Madonna explained it to me. People in Hell do not pray at all; instead, they blame God for everything. In effect, they become one with Hell and they get used to it. They rage against God, and they suffer, but they always refuse to pray to God.

T: To ask Him for salvation?

M: In Hell, they hate Him even more.

T: As for Purgatory, you say that souls who pray frequently are sometimes allowed to communicate, at least by messages, with people on earth, and that they receive the benefits of prayers said on earth?

M: Yes. Prayers that are said on earth for souls who have not prayed for their salvation are applied to souls in purgatory who pray for their salvation.

T: Did the Madonna tell you whether many people go to Hell today?

M: I asked her about that recently, and She said that, today, most people go to purgatory, the next greatest number go to Hell, and only a few go directly to Heaven. (www.medjugorje.org)

And now I share with you my experience of the place that visionary Mirjana Dragicevic was told the second greatest (!) number of souls goes to:



I had a dream that was quite shocking!  I sat in a room and I was with God.  He was showing me something.  There was a low ledge in the middle of the room that ran the length of the room.  It was like a separation line between the place I sat with Him and another place like another dimension and state:  the other place dropped off into a large place of unknown depth and this place was Hell!

God was giving me a ‘taste’ of the quality of Hell.  He took a silver teaspoon and dipped it ever so slightly into Hell and scooped up a small smidge of a greyish material/’taste’ of the nature of hell and gave it to me to eat.  I took this at His offering me the spoon.  He did this to give me knowledge – not because I was supposed to be there etc.

 I took the first taste into my mouth and I was aghast at what happened.  As soon as I ingested it I entered through an unseen barrier between the place I sat with God and the place that was Hell that was on the other side of the barrier ledge.  As I entered it, it was like stepping momentarily out of time into a place that had no time – a perpetual living in a timeless dimension of just being in a constant state of ingesting one’s own sins committed.  I entered into a state of unbelievable awareness and every fibre of my soul went into almost like a living, breathing dimension of ‘living’ one’s sin in a timeless, yet perpetual fashion. 

Awareness and the state of one’s sin permeated the entire soul’s every breath (this was not the sin of my soul – I was shown at least two different types of sin and how a soul experienced their sin in hell, but I did not remember the nature of the two types of sin I was shown upon waking).  As I experienced this state/place it was almost like it was continually ‘breathed in’ – everything was tasted and vibrated in and around the soul in a constant state of horrible awareness and the knowing exactly that the state and tastes and smells came from your deeds and exactly matched your sins.

I cannot describe this well.  Nothing like this state exists on earth as I’ve seen or known it:  All one’s senses participated in this experience in Hell – the taste, the smell and a certain living, breathing, ever-renewing dimension of the soul tasting perpetually the rottenness of its sin.  Moreoever the experience of the horror of the soul’s state in Hell directly correlated to the type of sins committed.  It was horrible!!!  Even just the tiny, tiny taste God gave me on the end of that spoon!

I then came back out of the dimension/other world/place (of Hell) that I had entered into upon eating the taste and God gave me a second taste of Hell.  Again, He reached the spoon into a slightly different area to give me a second taste and I plunged again with my entire consciousness into another ‘taste’ of this horrific reality.

What struck me the most of this dream experience was the vivid, pulsating, fully alive state/place of perpetual vibrating reality of sin and hell – an endless revolving ingestion of every fibre of the soul’s awareness and experiencing perpetually the smell, taste and breath of your sin in such a conscious state of awareness and truth and reality so alive it vibrates in and around the soul inescapably and inseparably as I’ve never seen or experienced such a state of reality on earth!


It is my hope that my testimony, which simply adds to the already plain testimony of the Bible, gives impetus to help your own heart embark on, or strive further, in the spiritual journey – the course towards ‘holiness’, which is simply perfection in love.  The journey towards becoming perfected in love is indeed a challenging one – especially in our day…However, every day of your life is a gift and opportunity to grow on this path.

One of the first and most important steps in the climb is the recognition of those errors against love – sins – and the desire to say sorry – to God and others – ‘repentance’.  It is also very important to forgive the wrongs of others to avoid a build up of resentment and hardness of heart.  I know sometimes even the desire to repent and forgive others can be highly difficult.  Some wrongs wound us so deeply.  However, I have personally found that one doesn’t necessarily have to have the feelings first to forgive or repent, but more it is an act of the will, and one only has to express the desire in one’s own words to God for the grace to be able to both repent and forgive.  His grace helps us do what we sometimes feel humanly unable to do.

For those who are Catholic we have the grace of the confessional, and should avail ourselves regularly of the sacrament of Confession.  Through the confessional, we have access to Jesus through the person of the Priest to give us temporal outward experience of the hidden grace of forgiveness imparted by God.  For those not Catholic, go to Jesus in your heart and ask for forgiveness for wrongs you’ve committed and ask for help to be a holy person. Go to church.  Strive to live with love.   Do not fear.  The devil would love that!  Instead, heed the words of Jesus to Saint Faustina, in the book Divine Mercy in My Soul – the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:


My daughter, encourage souls to say the chaplet which I have given to you.  It pleases Me to grant everything they ask of Me by saying the chaplet.  When hardened sinners say it, I will fill their souls with peace, and the hour of their death will be a happy one.

Write this for the benefit of distressed souls; when a soul sees and realizes the gravity of its sins, when the whole abyss of the misery into which it immersed itself is displayed before its eyes, let it not despair, but with trust let it throw itself into the arms of My mercy, as a child into the arms of its beloved mother.  These souls have a right of priority to My compassionate Heart, they have first access to My mercy.  Tell them that no soul that has called upon My mercy has been disappointed or brought to shame.  I delight particularly in a soul which has placed its trust in My goodness.

Write that when they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge but as the merciful Saviour. (Diary, 1541)

And, lastly, I leave you with a contemporary message from a song that resonates deeply with me and that I coincidentally heard as I was preparing this writing:

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day’s a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less travelled by

That first step you take is the longest stride


If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?

What if, what if, if today was your last day?


Against the grain should be a way of life

What’s worth the price is always worth the fight

Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try

So live like you’re never living twice

Don’t take the free ride in your own life…


And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you’re dreaming of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?


If today was your last day

Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?

You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars

Regardless of who you are


So do whatever it takes

‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life

Let nothing stand in your way

‘Cause the hands of time are never on your side


If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?


And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you’re dreaming of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?


Because of the busyness of our lives and human nature, we tend to put off decisions concerning moral matters that seem heavy.  However, there is danger in doing so, because we get in the habit of putting things off instead of facing them head on with the Lord.  With this in mind I ask you:

What if today was your last day?


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