Posts Tagged ‘Catholic’

Christ the King

In this season of Advent I will be taking a break from the series on our adversary, Satan, and turning the focus directly to God and to some of the beautiful things that I have experienced over the years.  This is a time of prayerful consideration of the things of God, anticipation of Christmas and a time of hope and joy.

In this spirit I would like to share with you today words from Jesus that give us hope and consolation, in a world hurting so from sin and evil.  These words were spoken to me by Jesus in the state between wake and sleep, but there was no accompanying dream or vision:

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2007 (Feast of Christ the King)


My sweet and tender child of Mercy, write that I am in love with the world.”

I was not surprised that Jesus referred to me as a child of Mercy, as I had just been formally inducted into the Divine Mercy movement in Ottawa,  information about which can be found on this website.  This movement of Mercy is an outpouring of the love that Jesus has for the world, despite its sins.  To be called ‘sweet and tender’ by Jesus was also a consolation for me at that time, as these words came on the heels of some of the most hurtful words I have ever experienced from someone close to me.


It is recorded in the book, Divine Mercy in My Soul – The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, that the image she was instructed to paint – a vision she experienced of Jesus – was an image that would impart graces to the world.  I think this is a good time to relate a personal experience I had of a moment of grace that emanated from that very image.

I am not sure exactly which summer it was, but probably 2003.  I was lying on the beach at my campground reading the Diary.  I put it aside and was lying there on my stomach on the sand, pondering the many words of Jesus contained in this church-approved book.  As I glanced at the picture of Jesus on the cover I had a sudden staggering experience of the love of God.  Although this experience is hard to describe and will probably only resonate fully with those who have experienced it themselves, I will do my best. 

While looking at the Divine Mercy image (above) I experienced the most acute, stabbing, fiery pain of love from that image to my heart that was so unbearable I couldn’t believe it!  It only lasted a moment and I was quite sure I was not going to survive it.  I think if it had lasted longer than the moment it did I would have died from the most exquisite, acute pain of love I have ever experienced in my life.  In that one moment I tasted the depth of the love that Jesus has for us.  (On this site, in a previous writing, I related an experience of seeing the heart of Jesus, which you may wish to read again). I do not think we can even bear this love without special help from Him, for I reiterate that I could not even bear the pain of that love for longer than the second or two it lasted.  This is a taste of the love that is available to us for eternity after death.  Whatever He did to me in that moment set my heart on fire with love for Him as only the grace of God can.

It is no wonder we are all so lost and broken here until we find God.  We search for this moment I experienced in many things, but are let down, time and time again.  We search in alcohol, in drugs, in shopping, in pornography, in the endless pursuit of recreation, in the pursuit of money and power, and in partners that cannot approach the perfection of God and so let us down.  We keep searching for it and so we should, but this Advent I ask one thing of you.  Start looking in the right place and truly bring Christmas into your heart.


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The Economist, May 2nd, 2009

As anyone who has been following these writings will know, the sharing of these satanic experiences has been done chronologically.  As I prepare to share the next in line, I have to wonder at the timing of the sharing of the following dream experiences, when the world as a whole has become increasingly concerned about the H1N1 Swine Flu threat.

It has been a difficult road for me personally to have experienced prophetic dreams.  One of the difficulties is in never truly knowing which dreams are prophetic and which are just generated from my subconscious.  I found it kind of surprising at first that specific things that I would dream would come to pass.  I learned quickly that if I dreamt of some situation in the world (and sometimes personal situations) it would be best to try to help or mitigate that circumstance – just in case.  And so I started praying for specific circumstances in response to these dreams.  I think, literally, it is the only thing that can be done.  Where necessary I warned individuals if I felt it necessary, just to err on the side of caution, but I always presume a dream is personal rather than prophetic, until time bears it out.  And then, really, I have covered all the bases and done everything I felt I personally could.

It is no different with the experiences I will share with you today.  As I prepared to share the next experience of Satan, I realized I had to share another dream on the same theme experienced a little over a week prior, even though there was nothing satanic about the first one, as they are, I believe, connected.  One thing I have discovered and therefore must caution the reader about, is that the nature of my prophetic dreams has not been exact and specific as to timing – or always very evident as to location – though it usually is with regard to the latter.   All I ask from you the reader as I share things of this nature is to ask yourself – what if this was happening to you?  How would you respond?  Will my sharing of perhaps difficult things – now and in the future spur you to increase your prayers and work on your own personal conversion?  It is my hope that this is so.  For we have far greater power in prayer than we realize.  It is a powerful weapon for good that I have personally employed non-stop over the last ten years.  In some cases, God has given me to know that I personally was able to mitigate a circumstance.  What a joy!  In many cases though, as we all know, the result of our prayer is generally unknown and will have to wait for the next life to be revealed.

I ask you to take all these things into account as I share the following dream experiences.  Most of all I ask you to not be afraid!  With God on our side, what do we have to fear?  I hesitate to say what particular circumstances/punishment the following experiences may specifically refer to.  I share it only to impart information, to help people to be prepared, and to help souls choose God and deepen their faith, so that they will be more prepared for anything in their lives.

My spiritual director has instructed me to also share the things I am receiving/experiencing now, so I include the following dream experience as I believe it is related to the other two dreams of a few years earlier:



Dreamt I was in an area of a city and stood on a sidewalk watching what was going on around me.  All around me were people fighting, crimes, murder, etc.  Humanity was out of control with sin.

I kneeled on the pavement right then and there and began to pray – particularly the Divine Mercy chaplet.  I think I saw Father Dan (of the JPII Divine Mercy Centre) standing facing me.

All of a sudden, God’s spirit came down on me forcefully and I fell forward from my kneeling position so that I was semi-prone on the ground – forehead to the ground with arms straight ahead in a profound state – like being prostrate, but from kneeling.

Then I prayed:

 ‘Father!  Use me in whatever way You wish to help these people!’

I was then raised from the ground by God’s spirit and levitated upright (not lying back in the air like on a cross as all other previous times in dreams – to be shared in future).  He brought me into a field – like a large park right next to this teeming area of the city I’d been in on this sidewalk.

God’s spirit completely filled me and I was levitated and moved slowly through the field – speaking God’s words of warning – it was a very long message/long time of Him speaking through me this time. (Many times in the past ten years God has spoken short verbatim messages during dreams – these will be shared in future.  A long waking message has already been shared on this site).

It was about the need for people to amend their lives.  As I was moved slowly thus, however, not many were in the field listening to me – pockets of people dotted here and there on the grass.  And, even among those who saw me levitated(!) for Heaven’s sake(!), did not believe God was acting through me, but that I was somehow orchestrating this under my own power and making up the message.  There was some mocking and derision by the people here.

God became somewhat angry and more forceful at this point and I was then filled even more with His spirit and levitated higher in a more powerful way to make it more obvious and clear that it was God doing this – not me.

I was levitated quite high in the sky over this park and moved to a new section of this park/field and God spoke a LONG message through me.  It was as if how He did it had such power, signs and wonders that it would be evident to the people that it was Him who spoke.

I do not remember any of the words verbatim from this dream, but He was speaking of the need for people to amend their lives, telling them How much He loved them, and lastly, that if they did not repent, it would not go well for them.

I woke.  When I awoke the song “Walk Like an Egyptian’ by the Bangles was going through my head at the end of this dream.


Dreamt I was standing in the back yard of my childhood home in Heart’s Desire in the days when it was a huge garden, but time was present – I was an adult (now).

I stood on a little path facing south that had two dividers on either side of me like a vertical archway that had two flat sides but no top.

I looked straight up because all of a sudden in the clear daytime sky above me appeared a HUGE angel of God – mostly the face, and in the appearance of a large, billowing cloud of unusual colour.  It appeared olive green if I had to choose a colour.

It was a massive angel and I knew it was a vengeance angel of God – to bring a punishment.

I immediately got down on my knees and started praying to God, all the while staring straight up at this sight, saying:

‘Have mercy on your creation, God!   Have mercy on your creation, God!  Have mercy on your creation, God!!! (over and over).

I was MOST upset!  The cloud lightened a little in colour/darkness, but did not go away.  The face of the angel was present the whole time – a severe, stern face.

There was at least one other man standing beside me to my left who witnessed what I did and said, but no-one else could see what I could and they wondered what on earth I was saying that for and kneeling, but I didn’t care what they thought.

Then I turned around fully and saw to my right (in the East) a swarm of locusts (big billowing, forming, swarming cloud of bugs – locusts).  They were forming in the sky in a huge cloud and they began to move westward in a swarm of descending attack/onslaught over my area (the West).  They were definitely moving East to West and descended in attack in the area I was in.

Everyone started to rush into the house and close sliding horizontal windows and doors, but some were trapped in the outermost rooms of the house – where the locusts were able to swarm in.  Some people made it into interior rooms and doors had to be closed to protect the ones inside.  It was a quick, sudden, unexpected thing and people were caught unprepared.

I, however, was in an innermost chamber/room/fireplace of this house – with brick or stone walls all around me except the front, which had solid iron-type bars or a grid door in front of me.  I could see all this taking place, without being harmed or in danger.  I saw one woman in the outer-most room being attacked by locusts that had managed to penetrate the outer layers before the house was sealed off.  I woke in horror.

And, without further ado, I present the third, connected dream a little over a week later which has an experience of my guardian angel and satan, including words from our enemy that I want you to pay particular attention to.


Dreamt I was in a large field with many other people and saw the locust plague start to descend in my area.  People were unaware of what was starting.

I looked up to the sky and lifted both arms upwards and saw a white bird like a dove descend toward me.  I said “I don’t know where to go to safety.  Will you guide me?”  The bird answered ‘Yes.  Follow me and I will lead you.’  The bird then alighted near my upwardly outstretched right hand and flew and guided me to the right, diagonally across the field to a green bus or trolley-type car of sorts made completely of metal, with windows that completely closed.

I started to yell instructions and warnings to all around me as I followed the bird.  I said ‘This will be bad – you must listen to me.  Head for secure dwellings made of all metal if possible and close all windows.  Seek shelter indoors immediately!  This will be devastating!  Do not hesitate!  Go immediately!’

People were caught unaware and were scrambling in unorganized, confused chaos to enter buildings for safety, but were unsure of where to go.  They began trying to enter homes/buildings around the field.

The bird led me into the trolley/bus where a seat was prepared/waiting for me.  Others had also been escorted to this special instrument of departure/protection from descending catastrophe.  The windows were closed and checked and the driver began to pull away from the area.  The man in the front seat beside the driver asked the driver if he should close the vehicle’s ventilation system after I had checked all the windows.  I was like an informed leader of this group of people in this area.  I heard and urged him ‘yes’ because I knew the locusts would come through the ventilation ducts if he did not.  But the driver wasn’t sure if he should listen to me as it would then get stuffy in the vehicle.  I said firmly ‘I know what I’m talking about – I’ve been forewarned – close the ventilation system!’  He didn’t immediately comply as he contemplated what to do, until a few locusts came in as the swarm/plague hit and he quickly turned it off.  There was no threat to us.

The bird had come on the trolley car with us and turned into an angel – there to guide us.  We drove west to east and as we did all the destruction was before and around us.  We drove safely through the descending attack and into areas of devastation completely laid waste by the attacking horde as we headed east.  We became a select few who were now on a life raft (which was like a flat wooden board door) floating down a stream or river eastward.  We were all lying or holding on to the life raft, the end of which was taking on water and starting to sink.

As we looked at the embankments around us, there was no life/people.  There were only dead locusts littering the vegetation-less shores – dead husks of beige/grey locust bodies littered in heaping mounds everywhere, covering all the embankments/earth along both sides of this river.

We saw the raft begin to sink and the angel instructed us to slip into the water and swim to the very near shore where a house prepared waited for us – our safe refuge.  We could all swim – there was no danger in doing this.  We then had a quick swim – so quick I don’t even remember swimming to the shore – just trusting as the raft sank and our bodies slipped into the water and then ‘presto’, we were in the house – completely dry, safe and cared for – fully dressed.

I then saw my angel fully as she really looked.  She was so pretty – a sweet, tiny thing almost like a girl, with long auburn hair.  She was so sweet I marvelled as I looked at her face to face.  I was attending to the others in the house, who I think sat at some table and I turned to ask her ‘Do you have a name?’  She smiled, but I don’t remember if she answered me.  She spoke to me of many things.  I think it was information of how to ride out the locust plague, but I remember no details.  I was the most prepared of those with me and the most at ease or in connection with the spirit world – knew what was going on behind the scenes and was not unprepared or surprised by the meeting of these two worlds in my life.

The others were all sitting and I was led apart and the angel continued to speak to me of my life.  She knew me well and I knew she knew all about me.  She had such a special way of looking at me – with such even, calm sweetness and much love.  I then realized I related back to her in much the same way.  I loved her so, and even though I was a little demure and shy as I spoke with her, I was so firm in ‘the knowing’ (very hard to explain this feeling – like connectedness to the spirit world) that I spoke to her as one on the inside:  listening to instructions, getting information and helping others – in a continuing manner even here in these circumstances.

I remember nothing specific of our conversation – just the matter-of-factness of our exchange and how she interacted with me; specially, pulled aside and singled out, even from this ‘inside group’ who had been spared/protected.

Then all of a sudden, Satan came or was allowed to come.  He was allowed into the house – even as we were all there.  He came again in this dream for the second consecutive dream in a row as a man, dressed in black.  In all prior dreams I’ve had of Satan in the last 3-4 years he appeared in spirit form or animal or changing forms.  This dream and last he comes as a man (significant?)  Regardless, the angel was still there too and she watched the exchange between us.  Satan singled me out and took me aside and we sat down on a window ledge of this house (with our backs to a closed window).

He was completely disarmed and powerless as he spoke to me.  He even seemed to shake his head in exasperation with me.  He referred to me as holy.  He said:

I’ve been able to tempt most women with many things, but with you I can do nothing!  Nothing works on you!

I sat beside him with complete innocence, detachment, holiness and simplicity as he said this and the angel watched.  I said nothing to him but sat and listened as he spoke this in frustration and resignation out loud in front of everyone and I just sat, resolute and calm – completely unafraid and unaffected by his presence and knew this was true.  I woke up immediately with such emotion (upset, surprise and worry for mankind) and recorded the dream right away.

Just in case Satan’s words didn’t really penetrate as you read them I repeat them again:

I’ve been able to tempt MOST WOMEN with MANY THINGS, but with you I can do nothing!  Nothing works on you!”

Did you catch that?  Most women – many things!  Are you one of them?  Take stock and turn to God.  I think these dreams and ones to come will say it all.  Now is the time to decide for God.  Tomorrow is no more.  Do not waste the time you have been given and say NO to sin and NO to Satan.

God bless you all.





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I am particularly pleased to reach this stage of the sharing of my spiritual struggle with our unseen enemy, Satan.  This is because it illustrates very clearly that Satan is completely incapacitated by the power of God.  I should imagine this is information Satan does not wish to be disseminated, for his tactics are deception, seduction and fear.  As I have said before, many in the world do not believe that he even exists.  This delusion paves the way for souls to fall into danger, especially in our day.  So many people do not recognize the doors and avenues for his influence to take a hold in their lives.  Climb out of this delusion that Satan and demons do not exist!  Perhaps the above book can help you in this.  Please do not be deceived. You are in a spiritual battle.

Souls that engage in the battle and strive for holiness are tempted by seduction – Satan will tailor fit his temptations to suit your weakness.  Arm yourselves with courage, humility, charity and repentance.  As you have seen in previous writings he spends more time trying to seduce souls that he sees climbing to holiness – they represent a real threat to his empire.

When these two tactics fail he targets souls with fear.    If you think you are suffering from demonic influence in your home or family do not despair.  Call on God and his holy angels.  Don’t be sucker punched by pride, ignorance or fear.  Rise up against Satan!  He does not want you to know that ‘little you‘ has everything needed to conquer him just for the asking.  Dig out the Spiritual Warfare 1st Aid Kit on this site.  Contact the Catholic Church.  Recognize that Satan is truly powerless against you if you choose God:

 binding-satan.jpg image by blessing2me

Friday, September 9, 2005

I dreamt the devil came walking amongst a party of me and my friends as we were out for an evening get-together.  He was in the guise of a human man with black hair and black eyes.

He singled me out and spoke sarcastically and tauntingly to me.  I spoke directly back to him – face to face.  He showed me all the snares he was using on people around me.  They varied from person to person and I felt bad for my companions as I saw them struggle – caught up in his fetters.

I turned back to him, remembering how he had once had me thus captive, but now I was free.  He taunted me with these scenes and said to my fellow companions something about the ‘holy woman’ not being perfect – things he wanted to tell that I had done to lessen me in others’ eyes.  I said that this was true (who hasn’t sinned?!), but I wasn’t afraid of his threats.

Then he made another sarcastic comment about ‘shouldn’t I be receiving communion every day?’ (because he knew I didn’t).  I said

I receive every First Friday, First Saturday, Sundays and most Friday’s.  Why don’t YOU go to communion every day?”

He smirked and smiled derisively at this because he knew of course he did not/could not, but knew my inner thoughts and prayers and knew I, with love, even wished he could be made holy.

He then brought out or showed me some type of weapon he held in his left hand.  We were in a separate room from my companions at this point.  They milled outside the door (they were really oblivious to what was going on amongst us and did not see this secret conversation I had with the devil while part of their company – they had no idea of the inside knowledge or power I had against him).

As he showed me the weapon he meant to harm my companions with I reached to take it from his hand and he was ABSOLUTELY powerless to stop me.  He had to turn it over to me with complete surrender and docility – not even an attempted struggle.  I made a small comment about how he had to surrender his power to me and he derided that too, making a mocking comment about God and heaven and how ridiculous he thought this was (he was angry) that little me should have power over him.

Then we were back outside that room and my love started to pour out of me – burning tears as I looked at him.  He fell backwards as if staggering, to the floor.  I said:

You know, not one human being does not benefit from these tears of love I have for them against you!  All of hell must fear and hate these tears.”

He tried to lie and say no, but my love and tears increased and he couldn’t even get up off the floor to say more in his defense.  I said:

You know my thoughts, so you know these tears of love have even pity and compassion for you.  You know that I have even asked God, if it be possible, to redeem you. But I will not stop praying for every human soul to help them against you!”

I woke up.

I have to admit when I look at television programming, internet media and video store shelves these days I see a great darkness of evil and seduction proliferating at an alarming rate.   Though some would think me paranoid, I see that the alarm is being sounded in other circles – that it is not just me that is concerned with the growing darkness.  I offer the following recent article from Spirit Daily, for those interested:


With love, I urge you to heed my witness and warning.  Pass this information along to those who need it.  Arm yourselves! Then climb.  Climb God’s holy mountain and with each footstep strive to love.  The reason so many of you feel like you are drowning is that you have not learned to walk with God.  He is the lifebreath of your soul!  Stop searching for fulfillment and happiness in all the wrong places.  The empty, aching chasm underneath the illusion of your ego is your soul’s yearning for love. Love, love, love! (God, God, God!) Oh, my friends – you have no idea of the beauty that you are not even searching for!  Do not hesitate.  Go today.  Even as you read this.  Go to God in your heart and He will come to you.  You are not alone.


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As we are now well into the series on our adversary, Satan, today’s sharing highlights increasing spiritual persecution and increasing spiritual protection.  As well I must point out that this series is by no means the focus of the website, just as Satan should never be the focus of our thoughts.  This expose is one that has been discussed, approved and confirmed by my spiritual director as a much-needed enlightenment for a world that is disinclined to believe in the spiritual world, particularly the real existence of malevolent spiritual beings.  It is in that vein that this information is offered – as light for those who are unaware, as testimony for those who do not believe, and means for deliverance for those who are afflicted.  To that end I realized it would be convenient and timely to have a Spiritual Warfare First Aid Kit easily accessible on this site for a quick reference in cases where one is experiencing spiritual attack.  Click the link to access this ‘checklist’.

I have been fortunate to have a very holy, knowledgeable priest – a retired exorcist – as my director.  As most people know, exorcists in the Catholic Church are about as experienced as one can be in disarming the enemy of our souls.  They have a tremendous amount of experience and knowledge that I believe can be helpful to many people.  So while I would never recommend anyone seek to read their experiences to give time, attention and glory to Satan – as that would take the focus away from where it should be – God.  The particular specialized ministry of exorcists, however,  is of great value in helping souls to turn away completely from evil and grow in holiness.

It is my hope that this website will be a valuable vehicle for the sharing of the life experience of another one of those specially called priests, my director – Rev. Joseph E. Kane – so that his knowledge will not be lost in obscurity, but available to help many souls now and in the future.

In the following dream experience I wish to highlight and reiterate that holy forces surround us and we need not fear the darkness of the night, particularly the thick darkness gathering in the world:


I dreamed I was in my father’s living room in Heart’s Desire by the large stone hearth.  There was a rock band with me.  One of it’s members was into the dark arts.  I opened a page of a newspaper – I think it was ‘The Sun’.  There were voodoo charms all over the page.  This dark arts rock band member (all the members of this clan were also dark somehow) became excited and wanted to try to curse me.  I wanted to close the paper, but he took a charm from the page – or the page that had charms and voodoo relics.  As soon as he did this to try to post a curse against me, the date of his death came up on the page.  It was only a few days away.

Then, next thing I know the voodoo curse/hell’s legions/Satan’s minions start to shoot sharp red arrows at me.  They bounce right off me without even touching me (like an invisible shield is around me).  One after another they are fired at me, but I am strongly defended.  Angels are then shown – white – rushing in front of me to block all shots.  Then I see a huge horned beast with a foul face – hideously scary and huge – rise up behind the stones of the fireplace.  The large stone hearth now looks like a medieval castle with lots of windows so I can see his rising behind the bricks through all the windows.  He is emerging to attack.

Other good angels come, but the power of this beast is so strong, some are blasted and turned smoky black as they are hurled away off to the side after being fired at (not destroyed but taking much heat if you will) – so much so that another good angel has to join forces with the original one defending me to assist.

The power of the good angels overcomes the attack of the bad, but the ‘heat’ is being increased so to speak and the fight is becoming more intense.  However, I am still completely unharmed, safe and unable to be touched.

I am starting to hear from readers, even though this website is a fledgling one, and I am concerned by the stories starting to trickle in from everyday people who are experiencing things of the enemy and not sure where to turn.  Many are distraught.  It does not need to be this way!  The power and love of God are for all!  God loves dearly all the souls He has created and He wishes not even one to be lost – even those currently serving ‘the other side’.  In an earlier writing, Unprepared, I shared a dream experience that showed that one of the current groups of the population that is in the greatest need of prayer are those practicing witchcraft and the occult.  Indeed, their families are also in need of prayer as I cannot imagine the difficulties they face, seeing their loved ones travel down a dangerous path.

It is my hope that the information shared today and in the future will be of great service to many suffering untold difficulties in their personal lives because of the action of the enemy.  Know that my prayers are already with each of you every day and that I will pray for special intentions if they are brought to my attention.

God bless you all.


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This week’s writing is for all those souls out there who have said yes to God and may be experiencing escalated attack of the enemy because of it.  I believe this particularly occurs with souls who are called, or who will be called, to work in a greater way for God that results in a great loss to Satan’s kingdom.  In my case I am beginning to realize the reason I have experienced so much attack personally over the past few years is 1) because of the things God has allowed me to experience and 2) because I am sharing these experiences – writing to illuminate as many as will listen.

I share the following experiences in order to show you the protection available to us, and to teach you how to call on greater protection, should your need increase in proportion to your mission.

November 5, 2003 – Early Morning

I had a dream that Satan attacked me again – it was worse than the last dream (see The Face of Satan – Part VI).  It was something like being held incapacitated while he attacked and tried to possess me.  I recited three Hail Mary’s as before and he left.  I was somehow in a church and a good entity came and was leading me down the stairs of this church.  He/she was telling me/teaching me that I must learn well to defend myself more directly against Satan.

I started to wonder if there were a quicker prayer to have Satan leave, as one is quite agitated when this kind of thing is taking place – even in a dream.

Upon waking I resolved to discuss these dreams with my spiritual director, Father Kane.  His advice, as I have mentioned elsewhere in this website, is to call on the protection of the Precious Blood of Jesus.  He has also advised that it is helpful to pray this invocation over your conscious and subconscious mind, so that you will have extra protection while sleeping.  The daily prayer of dedication is helpful in this if you have time to recite it each day.


November 19, 2003 7 a.m.

I dreamt there were demons trying to attack me all over my house.  One particularly large force was in my bedroom.  I could feel his evil presence.  A character in the dream drew a very detailed artist’s picture of what he saw – it looked like a fire breathing dragon with the most hideous face – full of anger and malice.

I was agitated and was trying every kind of prayer – Hail Mary’s and asking the archangels for their protection…  It was as if I was undergoing rigorous training on how best to confront and overcome demons.   Father Kane asked if I had holy water.  I said no, but I saw that the demon was afraid of it (holy water), so I asked Father Kane to bless some for me and I started to throw it at the demon.

In real life this translated to having my home blessed by a priest with holy water and continuing to have frequent blessings with anointing oil.  Father Kane advises keeping holy water in your home and another friend suggested blessed salt (which I needed and used in a subsequent attack that lasted during Holy week one year.) 


Tuesday, June 29, 2004 approx 4 a.m. (at our campsite)

Dreamt Satan was harassing me horribly with many demons helping him.  A lot of chaos was being created and it centered around the back door entrance to my trailer, which is the master bedroom (where I was sleeping).

I called to a friend to come witness this.  Then Satan attempted to create more chaos in the room where I was sleeping.  I was becoming frightened as he was playing mind tricks with me.  I knew I had to get to Father Kane.

Then in the dream I left the trailer and went into some house.  An expert was there.  This expert knew something was harassing me, but thought it was of ‘this world’.  I saw the demons flying everywhere and said no, pointing to the ceiling where I could see demons flying and the areas of the ceiling would go black as they flew overhead.

I said to Father Kane, who was with me now in the dream:  “I’m so lucky I have you or I’d be lost and in big trouble without your help.”  I re-entered my trailer.  Satan stood before me and kept changing shapes and trying to ram at me from various angles.  He was seething in anger at me because I was entering a new phase of my service to God and was going to be taking many souls away from him.  I had some very special mission and Satan wanted to try to frighten me to get me to stop.  He was extremely frightening, but I noticed as he was trying to attack me like this that he could only get so close – there was a perimeter around me several feet wide that he could not enter or approach.  Nevertheless, I was agitated.

I rose forcefully against Satan, crossing myself and told him to go.  I told him that I WOULD NOT STOP my service to God.  I realized I had to face him directly – square on.   As I started crossing myself, I started calling Jesus.  Then a male angel appeared, surrounded by shining light, and approached Satan with some power and backed him up against a wall.

Then Jesus came in, dressed as I have seen Him before – in a plain, white, girded robe.  He came with other angels.  I was so relieved!  He defended me against Satan somehow.  Then He changed into a lamb and walked toward me.  As he got closer and my fear and sense of danger passed, I felt my feelings of love and longing for Him rise up and spill out of me.  I started saying:

I miss you so much, my Beloved Lamb!” (over and over again)

Still in the form of a lamb he exited my trailer by the same rear door the attack had started at.  I knew He heard my words of love and longing as He left, but He said nothing.  I could tell, though, that He accepted my feelings.  He had just come to defend me and left.

These three dreams highlight increasing personal attack and increasing personal strength in the spiritual battle.  Please take a moment to reflect on where our strength lies!  Help and protection is all around us.  We but need to seek it.  These experiences (and the experiences of many others out there who perhaps don’t speak about them) show that there is such a thing as spiritual warfare.  It is unfortunate that Satan does not always present himself as ugly (see The Face of Satan Part VI), but sometimes in disguise as good, making it hard to distinguish his works.  Most important though, is the truth that the power of God is much greater and that we have the protection of holy angels, Jesus and Mary in this battle.

If you are interested in further information on the issue of spiritual warfare, check out one of the links below:



May God bless you abundantly in your journey.



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As we get further along in this series on our adversary, Satan, I realize that some of this week’s subject material may be scary to the average reader.

However, I feel there is a great service to be provided in helping people realize the spiritual dangers that are present in our world, seen or not.  And so today, in addition to sharing one of my own experiences of satanic attack in this spiritual battle, I also share with you a letter from a reader in England.  Her story is particularly chilling, but should be taken seriously.

One of the biggest errors of our time is to downplay the truth of the existence of evil spiritual beings – to the point of outright denying that they exist.  This has been a large part of their game plan!  This has left many open to spiritual danger as many are unaware of the forces that can be unleased by dabbling in occult and New Age practices.    I direct the reader to an eminent expert (if there can be such a thing in this physical world where we are dealing with unseen, spiritual forces), Father Joe Kane, and his book “Your Light Shines in My Darkness“.  Father Kane’s expertise is a result of many years working as an exorcist in the Catholic Church, particularly in Peru.

It has been the ministry of exorcists in the Catholic Church to help people who have unwittingly, or even voluntarily, come under the influence of demonic presence.  For anyone who feels they have a situation that requires intervention, it would be prudent to contact your local Catholic Church.

What is important to note in all circumstances, though, is the power of God over all – a sure defence against the enemy.  Keep this strongly in mind as you read the following experiences:

My Dream of October 31, 2003 (Hallowe’en!) approx 6:30 a.m.

I dreamt I was lying on my bed sleeping (as of course I was).  All of a sudden a demon/devil tried to enter my body physically and my body was jerked from the legs up to the hips and it was almost as if it were trying to pull me off the bed.  The demon/devil was an unseen force, but a powerful one that I instantly recognized for what it was.  My upper body was the only part left lying on the bed, while my lower body from the hips down were suspended at an awkward approximate 45 degree angle off the bed (I sleep on the right side).  I was slightly agitated, but immediately said the Hail Mary three times and blessed myself with the sign of the cross (I did this in my head because I could not move or speak).  The demon left my body and I fell back onto the bed.

Then a very brightly lit, tall, fiery angel of God stood between my husband and I on the bed as we slept.  He appeared in miniature as if being displayed by a reduced size hologram so that I could see him in his entirety.  If he had appeared in real size I have the feeling I would have been looking at his big toe from my vantage point, because he was such an extremely tall, brilliant angel.  I have not seen an angel like this one before in my dreams – he shone with great luminescence, which is why I described him as fiery.  He then spoke to me and said:

You will be called to face a greater challenge.”

After speaking these words to me he shot straight up to heaven like an arrow.

(I have to note that I woke the morning of this dream with pain in the hips and legs as if my muscles had been strained.  I particularly noticed the right hip and shins being achy and stiff…I feel the challenge he was referring to was quite heightened spiritual attack in the years that followed)

This was, of course, a scary experience – even in the dream state.  I have been blessed, though, to also see the profoundly powerful forces of good, such as the angel in the above dream, that we have as protection.  As I have mentioned before, I believe these attacks particularly escalated in my case because of the work (this website) that I would be doing for God.  As this entire website is to help all in the spiritual journey, I must reiterate that I do not share these things to focus on Satan, but rather to be of aid to an increasingly secular society that through occult exposure and New Age practices, may be opening themselves up to spiritual danger.

As an example of this, I offer the following letter from a reader in England for your discernment.  Even though it is not pleasant to acknowledge that stories like this one can be real, I think it is prudent to pay heed to her witness.

jesus.gif Jesus image by prelipeixoto

Charlotte’s Story

I haven’t read your blogs in great depth but I did want to comment as I have had some similar types of experiences and, as you say, it is difficult to convey certain things without being thought of as ‘mad’ or ‘deluded’ or with some hidden, self-serving agenda of trying to ‘convert’ someone.

While I am aware of the links between enhanced spiritual perception and some mental illnesses, I have never been diagnosed with schizophrenia or anything like it. I do a pressurised full-time job and I hold a masters degree from Oxford University, yet I find I have to hide such a huge part of myself from the world, which sees on the surface of me a ‘normal’ ‘attractive’, relatively ’successful’ person…..not some fruitcake who sees angels and demons. But I do; and a lot more besides.

I have some truly wonderful friends but it is hard for me to get to know people because my experiences throughout my life (I’m now 34) are so far removed from that of the typical person in England. My earliest living memory was of a terrifying malevolent force which attacked me while I was a tiny child – even a baby – and every single dream I had until the age of 16 was of this entity. Otherwise life passed pretty much at normal, until I left home as soon as I possibly could to escape what I now know for sure is a badly haunted house.

Had I been religious or had a religious upbringing I might have known how to deal with it (editor’s emphasis), but my parents were very liberal and I didn’t know a thing about religion, apart from the fact that I’d been baptised a Christian (the one time I was taken to church as a child). I did, however, end up dabbling in the occult, like a lot of kids do, perhaps because of the succubus-like force that preyed upon me.

I ran for a long while from this demon, devil, whatever it is, until it finally caught up with me when I was 21. It is a really long story so I won’t detail it here, but basically it launched a serious attempt to possess me, in an attack which lasted for approximately an hour between 1 and 2 in the morning. By that point in my life I had had one or two out of body experiences (not voluntarily, but with other people involved and so I had sufficient ‘proof’ for my own mind of the reality of the spirit/soul, though did not associate this fact with a God). During the attack I was forced out of my body by what I can only describe as an intensely violent, hurricane-like wind, which only subsided when it had pushed me as far as the door, with my back to my body on the bed. The struggle seemed almost impossible and it was only after an hour or so, as I said, that I finally ended up staring at my spirit-self in a full length mirror (yes, that was REALLY scary) and managed to spit out a few words. The sound of my voice terrified me – it sounded demonic and the words I spoke were said as a last resort as I didn’t believe in anything:

God help me.”

In the twinkling of an eye the demon was banished completely and I was sitting up in bed thinking, Christ, I need to see a priest. I slept well that night but the next day I did something I’d never done before and tried to find our college chaplain. As it happens, he was not in, but I had set my foot on a path that I would never stray from, with Christ as a seal on my heart. I fell in love for the first time as this was happening, a fact which I am certain made it possible for me to comprehend the meaning of the life of Jesus Christ, as I simply did not understand before – I was closed. Being ‘converted’ or ‘initiated’, or whatever, was akin to being turned inside out in a split second (I quite literally saw the light and that was it, my life was transformed).

Over the next few months I did not just have ‘visions’ or ‘dreams’, I had what might be called an ‘enlightenment’ or ‘revelation’, in which all kinds of things about various world religions were ’shown’ to me. Strange things that I did not understand.  I just noted (I kept very detailed records of it all so I wouldn’t forget). A vision of the Holy Trinity that I later realised was connected with the hebrew letter Shin; spinning like a Sufi, a profound comprehension of the sorrowful and passionate mysteries of Christ….the list went on and on, the visions didn’t stop for 3 and a half months.

This was in 1996. During this time I interacted with a being that I could not see but which was clearly there and could affect me in a physical way. At the time I saw it as being God/the Holy Spirit and it is impossible to describe the experience properly in a message like this…..I”m sure you can imagine.

I spent the next 10 years trying to make sense of what happened (the visions/enlightenment faded after that initial time, leaving me feeling bereft). You could say that I spent almost every minute of every day of that time praying. I had made a promise that even though I knew the Holy Spirit had to leave me (as it does everyone at some point) (editor’s note:  I believe Charlotte is referring to the diminished sense of the presence of God, as I experienced this myself after my initial conversion – I could tangibly feel God every moment for several months and felt like I was walking on a cloud of love, but gradually my sensible awareness of His presence was taken away – back to normal life if you will!), I would be ready and waiting in case I was ever called again.

In 2006 I fell in love for the second time and by the middle of last year I could no longer deny that I was being called again. I left my job as I could no longer concentrate and knew that my commitment was about to be tested. I think that a lot of religiously conscious people experienced something similar last year, as if we were all being called to unite in prayer to avert grave danger in the world. Whether anyone knows the full story of how and why, I’m not sure.

The point I am finally getting around to is with regards to the discernment of spirits and the necessity of having to ‘face up to’ the devil and trample the beast underfoot. I would have considered myself to have about as much faith in God as it is humanly possible to have, for the simple reason that I had enough proof to convince myself (if no-one else) that God not only existed, but loved me enough to save me, despite the fact that I lived a pretty sinful existence, I guess, by many standards. Nevertheless, what I saw and experienced of the ’spiritual realm’ between July 2008 and about April of this year almost blew me apart and I got to the point where I totally lost faith in my own ability to discern between an angel and a demon.

It is a very, very sad fact of life on Earth, that the enemy does not always appear as a horrendous or obviously terrifying presence that any reasonably sane person would wish to avoid. The most insidious, dangerous beast that there is can appear to be more beautiful than any figment of the imagination, and can inspire feelings of tenderness, joy, even love….by deception. With me I became so weakened and afraid that I decided to shut down my spiritual sight so that I could not be led astray. I felt devastated, as if somehow I’d sacrificed my allegiance to Christ by allowing myself to be deceived. It is hard to explain to somebody who does not believe how this can feel, but I’m sure you will understand.

I am now just coming round to the fact that this type of thing happens to a lot of people and does not mean that Jesus will kick me out of his crew, but it was another very sobering and life-defining moment. I think that a lot of people who are actively engaged in serious spiritual meditations need to be warned of what can happen, of the forces that can be unleashed, the effect on your mind and heart. I see people now who are where I was at 6 months ago and have no way of knowing how to warn them. I feel like saying, “Put on the blindfold, brother, you’re going to need it….”



This writing is but a sampling of varied spiritual attack by the enemy in this spiritual battle – a battle many do not realize they are engaged in, in one way or another.  I have said it before and I will say it again:  Our defence in this battle is the infinitely more powerful side of good:  God, Jesus, holy angels -particularly St. Michael, the archangel, Mary and the many prayers and devotions handed down, particularly through the bible and the Catholic Church.

Arm yourself with awareness today.  There are two sides in this unseen battle.  Choose the good one…

Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host –
by the Divine Power of God –
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.



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psalm91_4.jpg Psalm 91:4 image by godlygrammy

After a summer hiatus it is time for me to continue the series, The Face of Satan.

As promised, this series is unfolding as I experienced it chronologically, highlighting the many ways our adversary attempts to stop our attempts to grow in holiness and serve God and others.  One of the experiences I share this week illustrates the all-out frontal attack Satan launches at a soul that has stepped out of his grasp and has chosen to serve God.

As the following dream experience shows, though, his attacks are of no harm to a soul that has chosen God, as God Himself protects it:

October, 2002 (exact date unrecorded)

I dreamed I was lying in my bed (which of course I was!).  I was awake and looked up.  Satan was hovering over me screaming obscenities and launching continuous verbal tirade at me.

I was totally at peace and unconcerned and unafraid because there was some kind of bubble dome over me that he could not penetrate and therefore he could do me no harm…

Let not a soul think that it is able to generate this peace itself.  God then showed me what I am of myself when he removes this protection – intense fear envelops the soul.  He showed me this to demonstrate that no soul should ever grow boastful or proud that it is courageously able to serve God without fear.  All these blessings come from God.

As you can imagine, I had begun to wonder at this point why I was experiencing so much satanic attack.  It is true that Satan wishes to ensnare all people, but he especially wishes to stop souls who have been called to serve God in the dramatic ways needed today when the world is full of so much evil and so many people are suffering from it.  Now that this website has been established and I am well into this – what you could call an expose – on Satan, I realize he was probably hell-bent (excuse the pun) on stopping me.

The picture started to become even clearer almost a year later, when I realized God was going to use me in a greater way:

 Tuesday, September 30, 2003 approx 3 a.m

Dreamed God lit up a sign in my staircase (that was somehow like an escalator) that was so bright it lit up the entire room/area.  I was in a large, dark old home and it was mine in the dream, but not mine in real life.

The sign was burning flame of gold letters that spelled out a word/message to me.  It stayed lit for some time, but I could not read what the letters said.  The letters were so large and long and tall and burning bright that I could not read them.  At first I thought I could (and if I did I don’t remember what it said), but I could not, so I called a friend over to help me read them.  I was so in awe and completely overcome with such love, power and majesty and I was so excited.  I said “What does it say, what does it say?”  “I can’t read it”

Then, before my friend could read the letters/message, God extinguished the light.  The darkness seemed so much greater than before now and I was so upset that I could not read the message and now it had been extinguished.  I said to my friend with sadness, but resignation, “God keeps us in such great darkness.”  At this point I was walking toward the cloakroom in the front lobby of this home.  I said to her, shaking my head “I don’t know why He keeps us in such great darkness, but I trust Him and I will keep walking in darkness if that is what He wants”.

I was so upset and disappointed that I had been unable to read the letters/message, because I love Him so much and am so eager for anything of Him and Jesus and Heaven because I miss it so much (because of the many things I’d been experiencing).  I felt especially upset with myself because the message was burning there for a time for me to read and I could not and felt it was my own inadequacy and fault.

I was in the living room (in the dream) or heading back to the living room, when God called me back to the cloakroom because He started to speak to me.  I went toward his HUGE, BOOMING VOICE, which was coming from the cloakroom (which was in darkness).  He spoke slowly, powerfully, booming and slightly gravelly, in great and awesome majesty and power.  (It reminded me of how they had Him appear speaking to Moses from the burning bush before He sent Moses on his mission.  I still tremble at the amazing awe it created and the power with which He spoke!)  He said:

SO THAT THOU SHALT NOT SUFFER BECAUSE OF THE FINITENESS OF YOUR MIND (and here was communicated to me something about my inability because of this finiteness), I SHALL ILLUMINE YOU TO READ MY WORD/LETTERS (not sure which) AND KNOW MY MESSAGE!

There are no words to describe this encounter with God.  His voice sounded like talking thunder and each word sounded like the stomp of a giant’s footstep on the earth.  I trembled for quite a while after I awoke from this dream and cannot convey just how humiliating this experience of my smallness was.

What is significant, though, in the sharing of this experience as part of an expose on Satan, is the dream that followed immediately after this one a couple of hours later:

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 approx 5:30 a.m.

Satan tried to deceive me in a dream after the last one – pretending he was God speaking to me.  It was a long convoluted and mostly unmemorable dream of him trying to get me to follow him on the pretext that he was God and would speak to me. 

He led me into a room and changed into an image that he knew would tempt me (regarding the purpose of a certain suffering) and as he stood in the corner he said I could ask him any question and he would answer me.  I was tempted, but trusted God and so I did not ask.  I don’t think I asked any questions.

Then he changed shape and became like a large lying mouth entity of some sort (I literally saw a picture of a sideways (lying) mouth) that spoke to me very weakly – so weakly he was whispering and I could hardly hear him.  I became suspicious at this point and started to recite the prayer to discern spirits.

He changed shape again and stood in front of me this time in the shape of a human.  I rose up against him with great immediacy, strength, purpose and firmness (mostly calm) and recited the prayer to discern spirits.  I mixed it up a little and had to repeat it because I was somewhat agitated.  I blessed myself with the sign of the cross and he disappeared.

The bottom line with experiences like this is that Satan will attempt to do whatever it takes to deter a soul from following and serving God, alternating tactics in his attempts to ‘take the soul down’.  As I have said before, however, once a soul decides for God, Satan has already lost most of his power.  Our strength and protection lie always in God and His son, Jesus.  We need to keep in mind that God is infinite and that Satan is a creature – a fallen one at that.  He only has the power we give him by being afraid or yielding to him.  His temptations are many and it is particularly notable that he has infiltrated much of the media, as seen in the rise of the occult in our broadcasting.  Without our realizing it, we are gradually becoming desensitized to the danger of the occult and new age language.  However, the Catholic Church, in particular, has a special strength through the seven sacraments because they give us divine grace, which shares in God’s perfection and God’s life.

Please take a moment to reflect where you are at in your spiritual life.  Are you one bound by Satan?  Are you one just starting to break away and afraid to go further?  Are you walking along the path and wondering if it is all worth it?  Are you serving God and suffering for it?  Don’t take the sharing of my experiences lightly.  For all of us our safe haven is with God.  It is a struggle, but it is so worth it!  I cannot even begin to describe the joy, beauty and love that await souls that choose God (love) instead of sin and Satan.  Don’t think for one minute that this life is not a spiritual journey with a destination after death.  Don’t waste the time we have each been given to grow in love.  One day, your time will come to an end…


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